I really have no idea where my life is going at the moment.

It's like as if as soon as 2013 hit, life decided to completely change and leave me totally disorientated. New friends, old friends, lost friends and found friends.

At the moment I'm barely adjusting with it all, emotionally and mentally. I don't know how to feel. One moment I'm completely happy and then I'm all of a sudden hit with a bout of depression. I just want to figure everything out and for everything to be ok for everyone.

It'll get there one day, right?

When things get bad I tend to say the same things:

• This will pass. Somehow, this problem will be over and one day I won't even remember it happened.
• Keep going. There has to be one day in the future where everything I'm going through now was worth it. 
• It'll be ok. It has to be.

When things are strange and weird and awkward and messed up.

2013, please treat me well.

Twenty Thirteen

And so midnight passed and (part of) the world yet again celebrates entering a new year. To be honest I really didn't give much of a shit?

I didn't do anything at the time. I was playing Zoo Tycoon 2 on an old laptop and the only other person in the house was Dad who was watching his shows outside. It took numerous mass New Years texts in order for me to realise it was past twelve a.m. and that the fireworks started in Darling Harbour. I turned the television on as background noise and really didn't look at the screen.

Maybe it was because I didn't do anything special at all today or maybe it was the fact that I secretly hated more than half of 2012 because some pretty shit things went down but 2013 isn't really doing it for me yet. I'm not trying to be a downer. I really do hope for the best in 2013 but right now I can't feel or think anything new or revolutionary for the new year.

It's probably very strange for a person in my place to say and feel that considering I just finished 13 years of school which concluded with a shitastic HSC (I got 73.5 btw. Scaling is a bitch and a half) and I have uni ahead of me (if I get in, that is. Scaling can go die in a fire or jump off a cliff for all I care. No one would mourn) A whole new chapter. The beginning of a new journey. My future awaits me. One door closed and another one opens. And any other stupid ass cliche you can think of.

I'll post New Years Resolutions which I most probably will not stick to after a month, maximum:

• Commit and stick to my review site: http://fongsreviews.blogspot.com/
• Write and post more up on here
• Continue to explore fields of strength, passion and interest for future careers that'll make me globally known for some reason and then I become rich and famous and I'll be able to do what I want, get what I want and so forth.
• Lose weight. Lol I've already half given up on that after I wrote it.
• I really don't know. I don't really have any high expectations or hope for me right now. I need something to set me off.

So may this year be a bajillion times better than it's first impression on me. And all the best of luck, hope, wishes for all my non-existent readers.

P!nk - Blow Me (One Last Kiss)

Road We Travelled

Yesterday was one of the best days of my life.

It was as if as soon as I was fully away from the house, I was allowed to be happy. I really needed for this to happen, to be able to spend time with both the girls and the boys and to be calm and relaxed.

Time spent driving was fun enough. The silences weren't uncomfortable, the talks weren't awkward and the music didn't matter. The stop offs were so much fun. Photos, videos, food. The times that I hung back and watched the other crowd, I felt like I was watching one of those perfect moments in a film or TV show. It was sort of that cheesy, slow-mo, happy instrumental scene that made everyone feel good.

Despite the rain, I think the beach and the fish and chips were my favourite bit. I was told for the rain to stop before I got out. I nearly ran out. First one out, too. I was surprised when I would sink in the sand but it added to the whole atmosphere. Dreary and rainy and grey but it just made it that much better. My hood was barely big enough to shield half my head so I let it drop eventually. The closer we got to the ocean, the more solid the sand got under out feet. The rocky area was amazing. We went right near the edge and almost got hit by the waves that crashed on it. By then my hair was near drenched and my boots were covered in sand.

Sitting around the table, eating fish and chips made in three different ways and singing I'm Yours by Jason Mraz was another cheesy movie moment. Kind of reminded me of that very very end scene of Avengers where they eat swarma after the battle. We battled with winding roads, downpour, idiotic parked cars and broken nails.

I literally didn't want it to end.

Best, most interesting memories:

• Ho's thongs
• Migi's determined mission to stock up on instagram
• Yong's new camera
• Laura's cautious driving
• Gary's psychotic driving
• The twelve zodiac
• The crab between rocks
• Group photos
• Matt leading
• Paper wrapped chips
• Matt's Rock Playlist (Red, Kutless, Paramore, Linkin Park)v
• Taking photos of crashing waves on the edge of the straight cut rocks
• I'm Yours - Jason Mraz
• Yong believing we could touch the clouds, and me believing him

Wishlisting

• Standmixer. Preferably in teal or blue
• Nerf gun(s). Any kind, any number
• Final Cut Pro (not X)
• New Mac of some sort
• More followers for my new blog http://fongsreviews.blogspot.com.au/
• Job(s) and money
• Credit card to buy cheap clothes from online stores that offer free shipping
• Motivation to work out
• An external hard drive preferably a couple of terabytes large
• For a decent hair cut

It's done

I have finally finished my secondary education. HSC is done. I am done.

It's surreal. And fantastic.

I find myself with all this time and freedom.

And I've got all these plans

But I don't know where to start.

1. what's your favorite candle scent?
I generally stick to classic vanilla or jasmine

2. what female celebrity do you wish was your sister?
GOd who don't I wish was my sister? Emma watson, emma stone, jennifer lawrence, ariana grande, emily blunt....this could go on for a while

3. what male celebrity do you wish was your brother?
The hemsworth brothers wouldn't be bad, andrew garfield, joss whedon probably some more I can't think of.

4. how old do you think you'll be when you get married?
Mid to late 20s?

5. do you know a hoarder?
yes! My friend aislinn is a massive DVD hoarder. her collection is amazing

6. can you do a split?
i'm actually aiming to try and be able to do it again.


7. how old were you when you learned how to ride a bike?
i think around 3 or 4

8. how many oceans have you swam in?
None. I can't swim

9. how many countries have you been to?
Three: Australia, china, macau

10. is anyone in your family in the army?
Not that I know of

11. what would you name your daughter if you had one?

12. what would you name your son if you had one?
i like the name wyatt or micah. i don't know why

13. what's the worst grade you got on a test?
hahahahahahahahahahahahah

14. what was your favorite tv show when you were a child? 
Simpsons. hands down. i could tell what episode it was going to be about within the first 10 seconds.

15. what did you dress up as on halloween when you were eight?
we don't celebrate halloween. sadface.

16. have you read any of the harry potter, hunger games or twilight series?
lol all of the above. i was swept up in the craze for them all. i'm still a big fan of each franchise though

17. would you rather have an american accent or a british accent?
apparently i have a hybrid australian american accent anyways and i'm a massive fan of british comedy and culture. so i'd go british

18. did your mother go to college?
nope

19. are your grandparents still married?
each side has a widow or widower

20. have you ever taken karate lessons?
i really wish i did

21. do you know who kermit the frog is?
KERMIE! hell yeah!

22. what's the first amusement park you've been to?
i think it was wonderland because of the photo of me as a 2 year old toddler there with my family. no memory of it though.

23. what language, besides your native language, would you like to be fluent in?
i'd love to be fluent in french, italian, japanese and latin and swedish.

24. do you spell the color as grey or gray?
depends on what shade it is. if it's darker then it's grey if it's lighter, then it's gray

25. is your father bald?
in the process

26. do you know triplets?
wish i did

27. do you prefer titanic or the notebook?
ooft. both are classics in my eyes. also because you're comparing kate winslet and leonardo di caprio with rachel mcadams and ryan gosling. i can't. it's a tie

28. have you ever had indian food?
butter chicken is amazinggggg

29. what's the name of your favorite restaurant?
I don't think i've had one really. 

30. have you ever been to olive garden?
do we have one of those in australia?

31. do you belong to any warehouse stores (costco, bj's, etc.)?
no but I am aim to be part of costco one day

32. what would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender?
courtney's a unisex name sooooooooooo....

33. if you have a nickname, what is it? 
any variation of my last name: fong, fongers, fongie fongdog. oh dat fong fong fong fong fong

34. who's your favorite person in the world?

35. would you rather live in a rural area or in the suburbs?
depends on how rural and rural in what country. i wouldnt mind either. but i think id survive longer in the suburbs

36. can you whistle?
yes indeedy

37. do you sleep with a nightlight? 
no i sleep with a pillow pet. however i used to have this amazing nightlight which was a star the size of both my hands and you pressed the whole thing down and it lit up. it was my favourite thing ever and now i no longer have it.

38. do you eat breakfast every morning?
if i wake up early enough then sometimes

39. do you take any pills or medication daily?
nope

40. what medical conditions do you have?
nothing serious that i know of

41. how many times have you been to the hospital?
ummmmm, for myself i guess only around 3 times.

42. have you ever seen finding nemo?
MULtiple times

43. where do you buy your jeans?
i get hand me downs.

44. what's the last compliment you got?
ummmmm i think from mila about how we're tv soulmates or something 

45. do you usually remember your dreams in the morning?
yeah and if i really like the dream or it was really weird or interesting then i type them up in a dream journal. when i read back on them, i can actually vividly remember them. 

46. what flavor tea do you enjoy?
honey lemon tea, black tea and the tea you'd get in chinese yum cha. i havent explored too many flvours to give a proper answer though.

47. how many pairs of shoes do you currently own?
around 6 or 7 i think??

48. what religion will you raise your children to practice?
well it depends on what my partner's religion is. because i'm very open to all religions so if my partner wants to raise them something specific, then i'll let that happen. but i would want my children to also keep an open mind and wouldn't be upset if they converted. as long as it's not a cult or something

49. how old were you when you found out that santa wasn't real?
i've sorta always known. i was one of those sensible kids. except when it came to the tooth fairy i was insanely faithful. i made sure to wrap my tooth up so that it would break under my head and sealed it with tape so it didn't fall out. my sister made sure to rewards me with these little treasure boxes of crystals from tree of life. i was a true believe.

50. why do you have a tumblr?
i don't but i actually intend to get one or two. one would be a companion tumblr for my review site and another would be my general personal tumblr.

HSC and Website news!

English: Pretty sure I failed the only two units that counted
Music: Actually pretty happy with how I went.
Modern: Lucked out immensely. I selected pretty much half the dots points on each syllabus, skipping a lot of major ones because the cramming was getting a bit intense. LO AND BEHOLD the questions given were based on exactly the dot points I used. HELL TO THE YEAH.

TO BE COMPLETED
SOR: Fuuuuuuuuuuuhhh. Not looking forward to this at all. Stupid. Just....stupid
Society and culture: As much as I love the subject and what it has given me, the content and individual analysing is insaneeeeeeeeee.
Art: lol yeah.

Anyways I am literally in the middle of creating my new review blog! It's going to be a mix of television, film and novels, not separate like Mark's. HE FINISHED WATCHING THE BUFFY SERIES AND THE WHOLE PROCESS WAS BEAUTIFUL. I know that I get a little REALLY emotional when it comes to fiction so I'll probably be more sob-by and less witty. IT STARTS ON THE 9th OF NOVEMBER.

Things that made Mumford and Sons concert perfect:

• Even though I was alone for the first hour, Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros made me feel insanely happy
• Alex Ebert constantly moving. Jumping, stomping, dancing, running, walking across the stage and with the front row of the mosh pit
• Alex Ebert and Jade. 
• Alex Ebert chasing Jade with a tambourine and shaking it over her head like a weird halo
• Their opening song was the song that made me love them: MAN ON FIRE
• Mila coming just in time for Home
• The hipster indie boy drinking game. When you see a guy who is dressed indie and/or hipster, take a drink. This includes: beanies, plaid, weird print/pattern shirts, backwards caps, beards, long hair tied, skinny jeans etc.
• Mumford and Sons sounding and being perfect
• The megascreen shooting hipster indie angles of the band e.g. with light shining around them, obscure shots of their tapping feet and the whole thing being in BLACK AND WHITE. 
• The lighting was perfect. 
• The couple sitting in front of us swaying in the cutest way in their seats
• The communal effort by the whole stadium when it came to Little Lion Man and The Cave
• The couple slow dancing at the front of the aisle
• Buying matching Mumford and Sons shirts with Milly

Basically. Perfection.

"Little Lion Man" (Mumford & Sons) - James Alan

In light of the fact that I'm in love with his voice, covers and that I'M GOING TO MUMFORD AND SONS ON THURSDAY!....here's a video =]

p.s. HSC started

I think the biggest motivation for me to get through this crap is so I can get away from here.

"Home" - Philip Phillips (ft. James Alan)

*IMPORTANT NOTE: Everything in this video is LIVE and in ONE TAKE. The audio and the video were recorded together. We shot four of these in one night, so be ready for more to come! Special thanks to Speakeasy Sound for letting us shoot and record in their amazing studio.

HOLY CRAP, MARRY ME, SIR.

Could really go for a Sherlock rewatch right now. But I know that if I watch it now, my Sherlock feels will be renewed and dominate my mind over the HSC. Wahhh I miss Benedict and Martin. Tumblr gifs and photos just aren't cutting it for me anymore.

I'm also falling in love with classics. Audrey Hepburn, Humphrey Bogart, Fred Astaire and Ginger Roberts, Alfred Hitchcock. I think I'd like to be an upper class young white female in the 50s just so I could meet them somehow. The films back then were just amazing, classy, sophisticated and just so entertaining. Quality acting and no need for cheap shots (ignoring the "Asian" in Breakfast at Tiffany's and Fred Astaire's blackface).

I am now a download junkie. Downloaded Vuze. And then proceeded to download nearly everything else. I regret nothing.