*clench, unclench, clench, unclench*

-breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out-

scream

Slap On The Wrist

• I really shouldn't start the month off with negative posts for example the previous two.
  
• I really shouldn't express my feelings and talk about them to people cause it cause ripples in the water that can end up in massive disasters.
  
• I really shouldn't blog about this kind of crap where I know certain people can or will read this
  

but the selfish part of me that wants them to know does blog it up into the world where only not even 3 people read this random outlet of mixed feelings.


God I hate myself...and right now I sound like a whiny, emo, depressed teenager when in fact I'm just being a teenager going through the self-hate/ discovery phase which is seriously pissing me off.


Lets forget I ever wrote this ok?


I keep on playing scenarios in my head when people will say "well if she doesn't want people to know, then the insensitive, whiny little bitch wouldn't post it up on the freaking internet for everyone in the world to see." I agree but this is the only way I know how to say these kinds of things without confronting anything or anyone. I'm a nine, I avoid conflict.


Now I shall save this in drafts.

Have you ever done something really small but hate yourself for it no matter how stupid it is?? 

I do it all the time.

Random Blog

I dont know....... I've been feeling really weird lately, more bad then good. Like it's a feeling in my heart that doesnt give me trouble breathing it just makes me breathe in a bit more and it feels more weird when I breathe.

I think it might just be me worrying about stuff like school, family and mainly friends. Like they've just got so much going on and I tend to get....I dnt knowwwwwww......I just act a certain way when bad things happen to good people.

Meh well...nyahhhhhh

Moulin Rouge!

Possibly best musical movie ever! I heart everything in this movie, EVERYTHING. Plot is great, acting is awesome and the music and magical!

And so I have chosen this for my canvas art project...which is due on Thursday...I need spray paint, CRAP. Gotsa go do work now.

Procrastination

OMFGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. DUDE. I CANNOT BE BOTHERED ANYMORE. Ok in a science assignment, we have to pretend we're a 30 year old woman who is considering IVF. We write all the information as if it's a diary entry. In the diary entries I have to use formal language describing reproductiveness and IVF information.

A) Who the hell write formally in there dairy
B)Where the hell is the information on this so called "internet"
C) It's due tomorrow, I started it today.

P.s. im blogging from mttie's lappie while he's doing his math and quietly scolding me for procrastinating =D.

Damn...

New art assignment requires me to do a canvas artwork on popular culture things I like/ am obsessed about. I got all excited until it hit me; What the hell am I obsessed with??

I only like things:

• Food
• Manga- Fruits Basket, Sailor Moon, Death Note,
• Drawing
• Music - Paramore, Imogen Heap, Linkin Park, Yiruma
• Instruments - Strings and Piano
• Jeans/denim
• Movies- Moulin Rouge!, everything else....
• Cartoons (comics and animation)- Superheroes (superman, spiderman and the whole DC/Marvel gang), Pokemon, Disney (princesses)
• Sleep
• Books - Twlight, Ancient Future
• Internet - MSN, fanfiction, blogging, youtube

and yeah.....doing Sailor Moon, heheheh and the inner geek comes out =P

Walking Under Ladder Syndrome

Walking Under Ladder Syndrome, also known as WULS. Pretty much a condition and name I made up just then. It means bad luck.

• WANTED: Lost cream Billabong wallet; contains: 10 dollars, sony ericsson phone, house keys and numerous random and mostly useless cards used for decoration. yes it was stolen while i was at school. wahhhhh
• dropped table on foot, hurts like hell
• My computer breaks and when i use em's laptop, i accidentally get a virus on it. computers hate me, they commit technological suicide to get away from me.

Meh, could be worse. It''ll be ok soon enough I guess.

Filler Blog

Haven't blogged in ages for two main reasons

1. I'm lazy
2. My computer is broken...YET AGAIN gahh

So what has happened? Not much. School is school, friends are cool and that was unintentionally rhyming lol.

School:

• It's that time of the month when assignments slowly pile on and you don't notice how many there are utnil you're up late doing it last minute
• THE SHOW THEME: you will not believe it. This is worse then HSM for soooooo many reasons. the theme is "SPIRITACULAR!" -insert spirit fingers here- and the whole plot is a massive gay ripoff of Camp Rock (a movie that made me gag within the first 10 minutes). At a performing arts school, the "Spirit Trophy" is missing! OH NO how do we solve this? Why by singing and dancing of course! yayy. I admit I am dancing in the year 9 dance and singing in choir BUT THATS ALL. XD
• Regretting decision to learn commerce. -_-;
• Eely is leaving! =O

Socially:

• Went to aquarium with Rang, Hayry, Ames, Tash, Lex and Sam. It was fun. DUGONGS ARE CUTE
• Went to the Art Gallery of NSW with mttsie then to Taronga to see the newest additions: the red panda!
• Getting everyone hooked on Dramacon....again xP

Thats about all... not much excitment. I'll post some up sooner then last time =P

Vday 2009

I wouldn't be suprised if the suicide numbers rose on this specific holiday. If you're suffering from heartbreak that happened just recently then this will definately suck for you unless you're totally good about it or if you have a plan to distract yourself.

For the single people on this day, we either do one of two things:

1. Stay in either alone or with company, watch movies, eat and either laugh at the fools in love or depressively wish for that kind of happiness while trying to ignore those around you who are doing things for this day.
   
2. You go out with other single friends, love single life and have the time of your life.
   

I do number 1 mainly because I do that (apart from the depressiveness and laughing) all the time already.

For the single people, you guys have to stress about what you're going to do for your other half today, the flowers, the baking, the secret presents and planning. It can be very annoying but in the end also very rewarding in everyway.

OK enough cheese. I shall go back to my snickers, loud music and DVDs

Blog

Blogging at school. REBELLLL. lol jks.

I THOUGHT I wanted people to read my blog, but now I just realise it's plain embarrassing and makes me nervous, especially when they're reading it in front of you. Ngahhhh

Well, gotta do religion (not really just bludging on computers, as you can see).

I'll post a new one at home!

Last Summer Holiday Post for 2oo9

I did a lot these holidays. Movies with the guys and then going to the park down the road. Seeing a lot of family and family friends, some of which I don't know who they are or how I'm related/ known to them.Going out to new places to eat. Going to parties with music, food, friends and family. Get new things, stay home a lot and doing nothing.

Ok so I didn't go overseas or out of the state or do anything amazing like bungee jumping or skiing or go on a cruise. But it was fun and memorable which is all I need.

Back

When does the moment or feeling of going back to school hit you?

Is it when you're buying your stationery and text books?

Or when you're wrapping and decorating your exercise books making sure the cover matched the subject?

Or maybe it's when your friend calls you to see what homeroom you will be in so you run for the mail and see your school fees with the rollcall number up the top.

For me it was carrying my clean washed bag inside the room and then hanging up my wrinklefree, loved and hated school uniform.

Tomorrow is back to school day, the day everyone loves and hates, looking forward to seeing your friends again and the new subjects but then realising that it all comes with the price of hard work, strict teachers, no more sleeping in doing nothing and the end of holidays.

...personally, I love it.

Semi-Formal

Couple of days ago Al called me and asked me to go with him to his semi formal because he got the date of the formal wrong and so the girl he asked was still overseas. When he asked I couldn't stop laughing but I said yes.

So I went with him tonight from 7-11 at this place the Sydney guys owned next to Parramatta River. I got all dressed up in Es's dress which she wore to our cousins wedding. When I got there I was feeling so nervous and awkward because
A) everyone there was in year 10 or above (only the waiters were in year 9) and
B)I knew no one.

But after like 10 minutes I talked to a few of Al's friends and their dates so it was good.

Food was alright, the place was beautiful at night, there were so many stars. The dancing was....weird, the music was good, if they could stay on one song for long enough and people just danced. The guys were hilarious.

Then on the balcony we spent our time talking, taking photos and playing a game where you cheer if two lights in a distance flashed at the same time.

Nice night.

2009!

Goodbye 2008 and welcome 2009!

HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE!

Hope you guys make it a good and memorable ;P.

Spending the days at family friends, spent NYE watching fireworks from home, receiving Happy New Year messages and talking till three in the morning. I wake up to see everyone awak and that it was 9:30 in the morning. I usually wake up at 11 or 12, 10 the earliest so 9 was a massive effort from a lazy ass like me lol.

Em went out already cause she's spending two nights with friends and bf, Es is going FieldDay with Ray and Fill so she stayed behind while I went with the adults. Now I'm blogging on a 13 year olds very slow (internet wise) computer.

So again, Happy New Year.

xxCourts