I just don't understand?

Why do people not accept feminism? Literally all we're trying to do is feel safe and happy and have the exact same rights as men do. We don't want to be better than men. We don't want to take over the world. We are not anti-men. We are anti-standards set and perpetuated by men. We want our positions in the world to be acknowledged as much as the men have. That's all. (Well...that's oversimplifying. That's not all but I'm trying to say it's not that big of a thing to ask for).

Girl's getting fucking raped or abused in every way are still being accused of leading guys on, wearing not enough clothes while the attacker is sympathised with. If you're wondering why rape is always a go to problem that "relates" to feminism it's all about social standards and justice.

If you don't see the need for feminism and you're female, maybe you've got all the rights and privileges that you need but so many other women out there don't. In third world and first world countries alike.

The first time I was sexually assaulted was when I was in Year 8. I was on the bus home and sitting at the back by myself. This was around 1-3pm. A group of older teenage guys came on and I was immediately terrified. That's sign number one. Why should I be scared of guys my own age. Or ANY age for that matter? Because they have more than enough reason to think they have the power and and right to do what they want with me. Even if that isn't their intention, the fact that it is such a large possibility scared me.

They sat at the back as well, effectively trapping me in as they laughed and swore and talked about hot chicks that they fucked or considered sluts. Sign number two. The fact that were making a joke and congratulating each other about sex and experience. Being super macho because they think that's what makes them cool. That's what is expected of boys. All the while adding the double standard to the girl they DID have sex with. Which is fucking ridiculous because you love girls who like to have a lot of sex but then later shun them and calling them sluts. What the actual fuck. All girl's aren't nuns. Virginity isn't sacred or a sign of how pure you are. It can be treasured, sure, you can definitely save it for someone you feel is special. But why the hell does everyone need to have that mindset? Virginity is not a statement about who you are.

When I finally got to my stop, I was so relieved. I got off but realised about three other guys got off too. I tried not to panic and calmly started to walk towards my friends house. Then I felt a massive hand smack my ass and he ran off to the other side of the road where his friends were also walking and laughing. I was 14. Sign number three. I was violated. It might have lasted 2 seconds. It might have "just" been a smack on the ass. But it wasn't. Some guy thought it'd be funny to touch a girl who was visibly younger than him, in a way that degraded me to nothing more than a body he could touch. I don't care if I was wearing short shorts, it was fucking 30 degrees that day in Summer. I don't care if it was harmless. I didn't want someone to touch me without my permission. It was invasion of privacy, basic human rights and consent. ALL OF WHICH I AM INNATELY ENTITLED TO, JUST LIKE YOU.

My Body, My Rules is saying
"Hello, I am a human being who has family and friends just like you. I am in charge of and take care of my own body because I kind of live in it. Because it's me. It's mine. I'd like to have a tattoo on my chest one day because I decided to permanently mark my own body with something significant and important to me. I want to dye my own hair lilac because I love the colour and I want to try it out. I want to have casual sex because sex feels great and I'm being honest and safe about it, why not? (Not that that would be any of your business but I'm proving a point). But these things do not mean I'm crazy, or rebellious or is in any fucking way an invitation for you to touch me. If you want to, then respectfully ask. If I say no, then respect that."

TL;DR. Feminism is not a danger to you or your position in the world. We want to be treated like human beings. We are capable of making our own decisions. We deserve to be heard just as loudly as men are listened to but we shouldn't have to shout and rally for what men simply command for with a tone of voice that threatens violence or abuse or pompous self-entitlement. We are trying to reach up to the level men have set themselves upon, not drag them down to the level they have kicked us down to. 

Sisterly Love

If my decision doesn't really affect Michelle in any way, does she have the right to angry at me?

If she isn't happy with my decision and has other suggestion, should she attack me and verbally abuse me instead of calmly talking about it like an adult?

Lol fuck her. She was going to verbally attack me whether or not I deferred. She'd find a reason. Because she lashes out whether there is real fault or not. Bad mood? Fucking steer clear of her. Wants to find something? Stops the whole household to make them help her find it. Did I lose something? Declines help and verbally abuses me for always losing my things. 

The fact that she is such a bitch about things, makes me want to do the opposite of what she wants just to spite her. But I follow. I hate that I'm scared and so easily affected by what she says. Apathy was harder than I thought. 

The day she leaves and moves out will never be soon enough.

These are a few of my favourite things (part deux)

• Late night conversations
• Finding bargains in stores
• When plans fall through
• DnMs
• Getting to know someone
• The musty smell of old books.
• Getting back to school shopping
• The first day back at school
• Finding something I've lost
• When you're just messing around with something but it becomes something so much more like a scribble becomes an artwork or jamming ends up being a song
• When you fix something
• Getting mail or a parcel
• Bumping into an old friend while I'm out
• Seeing someone after it feels like forever since you last saw them
• Homemade presents
• Making personal jokes and referring back to it
• Hanging out with friends and forgetting about everything else
• Watching movies in the cinemas and buying CDs
• Sneaking off

Bad Blogger

Haven't posted in a while because I'm lazy, I've forgotten and I've also been busy. Busy with school and drama. All of this has got me dying for the Summer holidays. I need something to distract me too.

I want one good day. I need one good day. Where no one and nothing is sad, angry, annoying, disappointed or disappointing or bad. I want one day where it can begin happy and end happy. I'm not asking for something awesome or amzaing to happen. A day where nothing bad happens is all I want, is all I need.

Things that Flickr want me to do:

• Buy thousands of dresses, shorts, shoes, tops and skirts. I wear my jeans too much. But I love jeans, I love denim
• Get an SLR -_-
• Take pictures of myself and friends.
• Becoming less camera shy
• Find a field of some sort. Flower field, grass field, wheat field. Any.
• Learn how to photoshop like Gino. Because he is way too talented for his own good.
• Write and learn more songs on my keyboard
• Steal my sisters clothes when they're out and take photos in them in random poses, places and times.
• Learn how to dance
• Get a flickr account. Damn them. They got to me....

Last one! I swear!

Hey, if I find out that you're an amazing/brilliant musician and happen to do a cover of Taylor Swift, I HAVE to feature it on this sad little blog which no one reads. If you do read this then pls msg me or comment. Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to no one...again. Sometimes good thing sometimes not =P ANYWAYS:

Monopoly Night

We haven't played in months! But tonight we played monopoly: city. It was a little retarded but I came third =D.

I hate it when my sisters and family accuse me of something. They all aren't even home for more then half the time and when they are home they talk to me for 5% of that time, probably less. Then Sam tells me off for "being on my phone 24/7". This pissed me off for several reasons:

• She uses her phone ten times more then I do and she has TWO phones
• I was just checking a text and looked at it twice before she yelled at me
• She only talks to me when I have to fix the internet, turn the printer on or showing off something new she bought. She has no right to yell at me for something that I didn't do

I also hate when they're hypocritcal. Like when they tell me not to use that voice at someone and then they do the exact same thing ten seconds later.

Then during the times they talk to me it's either a favour or something to put me down. Then when I actually stand up for myself or try to ignore it then I'm "giving them attitude" or "being a smart ass". You'd think after more then 5 years of this I'd be used to it. I'm starting to not give a damn about what they say anymore. Yeah that's right, I'm giving them "attitude". It's called bottling it up inside so that I don't have to pour 5 years of low self esteem and hurt out at you.

Wow, from monopoly night to a teenage angsty rant about how stupid my family can be. Yeah that's great.

Running from lions

Has anyone noticed how we're cramping, sweating and panting in this race? And yet we don't know what the hell we're all running towards. Do we really want to reach the end? Do we really have to strain outselves to get there? Can't we just slow down a little and let ourselves breathe for a while?

Realisation

I find it strange how we spill ourselves out into the internet instead of our friends. How we always joke or are silent at school but we never say what's actually on our mind. How when we're sad we tell people we're fine but secretly wish for them to ask again and comfort us.

I read my friends' blogs and then read my own; it scares me how we all seem to lead another life with so much passion about life, whether it's good or bad. It scares me when I realised that if I didn't read their blogs then I wouldn't know so much about how they really feel.

So for all the bloggers out there and the people with secrets and double lives, you're not alone and we'll walk together through our random (and slighty emo, cause admit it, we all got a little emo in us all) blogs and since this would make my day no matter what, I love you.

*Btw, extra hugs at school on Monday people! Cause the world needs more hugs.*

Just Stuff..

I really cbb anymore. Sometimes I just feel like yelling leave me alone. But we all know that I won't. Cause I'm just too....me and I know that my biggest fear to being alone and I don't want to lose you. I know myself too well but not well enough to know what's wrong.

On the brighter side of things, I completed 40 hr famine successfully. I think I've raised from $150-$160 which is awesome since I was aiming to about $120.

I'll post more up about my day yesterday and also my secret of the day later.

Rant

Hello all! ok I noe I said no more depressing things but this has been annoying and nagging at me lately. Have you ever had a friend who is like this?:

"Omg....you didn't say hi to me and I smiled at you and you just walked past. Are you pissed at me cause I'll be really upset if you are. I'll stop talking to you and everyone else so that I don't ruin your lives."

Or something along those lines. At first I felt really guilty about not saying hi and so I would say sorry and don't be silly keep talking. BUT after a while this stuff gets a little annoying especially when the friend always protests about not talking and then when they do, it's about the same damn thing!

Has the thought ever occured to you that I did not see you? or that....I was distracted or busy or I'm just really anti social sometimes? Maybe it's not you it's me?

And you know what else annoys me? Drama queens/kings who don't admit it. Like it's a tiny bit annoying if you make a massive deal about something or say or do something to get attention, if you know you do it and you know it's a bad thing then meh ok at least you're living with the fact and maybe even trying to change it. I think it's unacceptable if you do all sorts of crap and then get all defensive and hysterical when someone even mentions the word drama queen/king. THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE DOING!

I'm sounding mean...gahh. But seriously if someone doesn't say hi or like...talk to you or something, don't automatically think that they're pissed at you; think about other things first and then see if there is enough evidence or fact to back up if someone's pissed. If they ARE pissed then try to work it out in a GOOD way. Not a ridiculous extreme way, a GOOD way.

Just try to lighten up and think positive! Not everything is horrible and negative. Breathe and take time to just be happy if you're in a sucky mood.

Stresssssss

Stupid freaking exams and assignments and personal problems and GAHH

Procrastination

OMFGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. DUDE. I CANNOT BE BOTHERED ANYMORE. Ok in a science assignment, we have to pretend we're a 30 year old woman who is considering IVF. We write all the information as if it's a diary entry. In the diary entries I have to use formal language describing reproductiveness and IVF information.

A) Who the hell write formally in there dairy
B)Where the hell is the information on this so called "internet"
C) It's due tomorrow, I started it today.

P.s. im blogging from mttie's lappie while he's doing his math and quietly scolding me for procrastinating =D.

Vday 2009

I wouldn't be suprised if the suicide numbers rose on this specific holiday. If you're suffering from heartbreak that happened just recently then this will definately suck for you unless you're totally good about it or if you have a plan to distract yourself.

For the single people on this day, we either do one of two things:

1. Stay in either alone or with company, watch movies, eat and either laugh at the fools in love or depressively wish for that kind of happiness while trying to ignore those around you who are doing things for this day.
   
2. You go out with other single friends, love single life and have the time of your life.
   

I do number 1 mainly because I do that (apart from the depressiveness and laughing) all the time already.

For the single people, you guys have to stress about what you're going to do for your other half today, the flowers, the baking, the secret presents and planning. It can be very annoying but in the end also very rewarding in everyway.

OK enough cheese. I shall go back to my snickers, loud music and DVDs

PowerPuff Girl Rant

I hate them, I hate them, I seriously hate them more then anything now. Why?

• Who the hell name the group the PowerPuff Girls? It the most lame and most stupid name in the history of superhero names.
  
• They're names are ridonkulous too. Bubbles, Buttercup and Blossom. I mean seriously man.
  
• The concept is quite disturbing, Kindergarteners who have superpowers to kill villans. a.k.a 4-6 years olds killing things.

Ok, so maybe I only just hate them because of that damn addictive game Jakies sent me. I do find them cute, especially bubbles since she can talk to aminals...including squirrels XD.

P.S. I got all this information off Wiki

Ridiculous

High school's a bitch. Especially at an all girl school. Girl's are so freaking emotional, take everything so seriously get so CRUEL and VICIOUS.

EVERYTHING you do is wrong, the bitching, the talking behind each others back, the saying it to their faces, talking to someone who isn't in your "group", saying the wrong things, doing the wrong things, wearing the wrong things, acting wrong, the secrets, the rumours the ridiculous clique fights it's all so freaking ridiculous, unbelievable and UGHHH.

We all need to get over ourselves, accept the fact that not EVERYONE likes you and that if they're being a cold hearted bitch to you, LEAVE THEM AND LET KARMA SLAP THEM IN THE FACE. Don't go up to them and say "What's your problem" or "Why are you being such a bitch". NO, those are big NO NO's

Just ignore them, don't blow crap out of proportion, don't go crying to a teacher who would pull everyone invovled out of class to talk about it and don't tell people who you know are going to be bitches about it.

THINK before you act. I know that is the most unlistened to cliche in the world, but seriously it's a smart and unstupid thing to do.

Here We Go

Ok well....I dnt particularly like the concept of blogging DnM's (deep and meaningful) because mainly I feel like an idiot broadcasting my DnM "thoughts" out to the world, but what the hey.

So the previous blog was the song "Where I Stood" by Missy Higgins. Well I didn't really just post it up just to show that i like the song (even though I do love it), I sorta related to the message in the lyrics and stuff.

In fact I related to it SO much that I actually wrote what I thought onto a website where you analyse the meanings and lyrics of a song. See if you can find mine or figure out the message (which isn't really hard, it's quite straightforward)

Missy Higgins - Where I Stood

Missy Higgins - Where I Stood

I don't know what I've done
Or if I like what I've begun
But something told me to run
And honey, you know me
It's all, or none

There were sounds in my head
A little voice is whispering
That I should go, and this should end
But then I found myself listening

Cuz I don't know, who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand, another hand upon you,
All I know is that I should
Cuz she will love you more than I could

She who dares to stand where I stood

See I thought love was black and white
if it was wrong, or it was right
But you aint leaving without a fight and I think I am just as torn inside

Cuz I don't know, who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand, another hand upon you,
All I know is that I should

Cuz she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood

And I wont be far from where you are if ever you should call
You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all
But you taught me how to trust myself

And so I say to you...
This is what I have to do

Cuz she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood
She who dares to stand where I stood

Holy Crap...

Wow, people watch this! It will open your eyes and make you feel bad but in a good way. CLICK THE LINK!

http://www.storyofstuff.com/

Oh Please No...

OK so if you know me, you'd know that I like to read manga. One of these is Death Note which is pretty much about this kid named Light who is super genius and one day he finds a notebook at his school called Death Note. Supposedly to belonged to the death god and if you write a name in and write a cause of death next to the name by a certain amount of time, that person dies by the exact cause of death that you wrote. If you didn't write a cause of death for the person, the person just dies of a heart attack.

So that was the low down and now for the shocker news.

America is going to do an english version of the series with (according to heaps of sources), and yes I cannot believe this too, ZAC EFRON AS LIGHT. The insanity of it all is baffling.

LOL I found this awesome video of Spongebob dubbed with Light/Kira and Ryuk's voice. SOOOOOO effing hilarious and genius. It perfectly in synch and all matched up. ENJOY!