Monday, 30 November 2009

Playlist: Random2 (Yeah that's actually what I named it..)

Colorblind - Counting Crows (<<33333333333)
Taking Chances - Glee (<3)
Almost Lover (Remix) - A Fine Frenzy
Hometown Glory - Adele
Hanging By A Moment - Lifehouse (<3333)
Meet Us Here - The Glorious Unseen
One Man Drinking Games - Mayday Parade
You Be the Anchor That Keeps My Feet On the Ground, I'll be the Wings that Keeps Your Head in the Clouds - Mayday Parade (Longass song titles ftw)
The Last Something That Meant Anything - Mayday Parade
Your Song - Mayday Parade
Walk On Water Or Drown - Mayday Parade
Saltwater Room - Owl City
If My Heart Was A House - Owl City
Vanilla Twilight - Owl City
Cave In - Owl City
I'll Meet You There - Owl City
Our Song - Taylor Swift
White Horse - Taylor Swift
Defying Gravity - Glee
On My Own - Glee
Maybe This Time - Glee
Don't Stop Believin' - Glee
I Gotta Figure This Out - Erin McCarley


..refrain...from being...emo. Lol jks. But yeah if I'm happy then there's nothing to complain or whine or cry about. That's why most of my posts lately have been emo and crap. (well technically all of them are crap so that's just a pathetic lame excuse...shutup)

OK umm happy stuff.....ilyfam. hehehhe. =D

Didn't go to school today but I shall go tomorrow! Jigging school is a sin, don't do it children. Crap I'm talking to imaginary kids. I'm delirious from the medication that I will consume in a few hours time. Yeah something is seriously wrong with me.

More happy stuff: I deposited money! Finally! and ummm I made a playlist on Windows Media Player which I haven't done in a while. OH it rained!!!!! Happy happy happy. AND I got oreos with strawberry filling! It would be even more awesome if I find where grandma put them. Tomorrow I'm seeing Luke after....4 days YAY.

Side note: I hate going to the doctors. A lot.

OH btw there's a tiny chance I might be going to America these holidays. I doubt it though, I don't really want to go either. Long story, not really, just a lot of...well not complications, just pro's and big cons.

Saturday, 28 November 2009

I didn't

think I could hate myself more. I proved myself wrong.


Is amazing. So cute and heartwarming.


hate them or love them. Right now, I hate them.

Saltwater Room - Owl City

Time together is just never quite enough
When you and I are alone I never felt so at home
What will it take to make or break this hint of love?
We need time
Only time
When we're apart, whatever are you thinking of
If this is what I call home, why does it feel so alone?
So darling do you we'd fall in love?
All the time
All the time

I love this song. I used it in my visual arts presentation. Owl City is *heart*


I bought tights, a top and a skirt from Eastgardens today. All of it together was under $60, so happy. Now that I think about it, I need a new job and I need to deposit more money into my account too...

I also bought Pocky, ice cream and snacks. I really need to restock on my secret stash. I've only got a few Cola Chupa Chups left.

My bad

Haven't blogged in a couple of days. I've got no excuse. It's not like anyone reads this anyways. I'm just feeling so tired and drained these days. I don't know if it's the weather or something but it's really uncomfortable. I've got no energy.


choices, chances, decisions and complications

Monday, 23 November 2009

I hate it when

people go all silent right after you pour out your soul or feelings or secrets to someone. It makes me think I've done or said something wrong. But when they say all the right things afterwards, then it's.....pretty amazing.

Sunday, 22 November 2009

Midnight Sun Snippet

"Why won't you leave me alone?"
Believe me, I wanted to say. I've tried
Oh, and also, I'm wretchedly in love with you.

heheheh. I can't wait until this comes out. Gets me wondering about what boys think about. I love Edward's mind and thought process. Especially when Bella is in danger or when another guy thinks about her. It's funny, sweet and completely adorable his overprotectivness and jealousy and absolute, complete oblivious love for Bella.


Went I stepped outside it was as if a giant dragon was breathing hot air onto the world but it was nice to be outside despite the struggle to breathe. Inside is cool and air conned but when we put on air con, we shut the windows and when we shut the windows, the smell of fish is spread from the kitchen to throughout the house. So should I go outside and not breathe properly or stay inside and smell fish for the entire night?

God I'm hoping it'll pour soon...

This week

is going to be painful


You know all that water you said was under the bridge? Well now the water is flooding the place. And I'm drowning in it.

Saturday, 21 November 2009

Maybe This Time

Everybody, they love a winner
So nobody loved me
Lady Peaceful, Lady Happy
That's what I long to be
All the odds are
They're in my favour
Something's bound to give in
It's gonna happen
Happen some time
Maybe this time I'll win

I heart strawberry and raspberries

Or any red coloured fruit. Yumm

New Moon

So much better then the first one. Still, there was some pretty bad acting moments and really cheesy and corny bits. But noneless, an amazing night.

Went over to Luke's first, then movies. When Luke found out there were two showings and the one I was in was full, he didn't wanna sneak in to watch it with the whole group so I just went to watch it was him. Connie, her boyfriend and Teresa was there.

I had a really good time. Even if the movie stuffed up a lot in the beginning.


Wednesday, 18 November 2009


Why is it that I'm always the one who fkn complicates and ruins things for everyone?

It's just

one of those moments when we need each other most. And then I realise that we'll always need each other more than anything.

You know what I realised?

We both had shyt days on our mother's birthdays.


Oh btw....

...I hate myself

Bad Blogger

Haven't posted in a while because I'm lazy, I've forgotten and I've also been busy. Busy with school and drama. All of this has got me dying for the Summer holidays. I need something to distract me too.

I want one good day. I need one good day. Where no one and nothing is sad, angry, annoying, disappointed or disappointing or bad. I want one day where it can begin happy and end happy. I'm not asking for something awesome or amzaing to happen. A day where nothing bad happens is all I want, is all I need.

Look through

it all and see what really matters.

Sunday, 15 November 2009

Mary's Dance Concert

This morning was, crazy. But eventually I made it to Luke's place where I had the best time ever. We memorised the Down by Jay Sean and it was stuck in our heads for the rest of the day. He tried to teach me how to play Hearts. I sorta get it more but I still fail.

Then we picked up Sharon and looked at more bridal dress photos. They look soooooooooooo pretty <33.>

Mary and her sisters' dancing.............omgggggg. They're so good. I was like... O.O.
I had to go home, couldn't stay for dinner though. That was a let down. But congrats to Mary and Isabel.

Saturday, 14 November 2009


Do you know the bone structure of a hand? No? Here:

Ok, now do you see the three bones that make the thumb? Those on my right hand are freaking aching. It's not painful but it's enough to be noticable and irritating. It think something's wrong with the joints.

Kudos, Kung Fu!

Wow I love how people use quotes in their description boxes or song lyrics. This one was on Flickr, (Un)quenchable Flame by {Just Call me S} :

"Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.”
~Bruce Lee

Good on ya Bruce. Show those "hardcore", tank, testosterone, ego-filled fighters how a real man talks.

I'm working

lol if you read the title and got excited cause I finally got a job. I didn't MUAHAHHAHA..wahh. I need one.

But yeah I'm working on a self help project to help me build my confidence up and get rid of my insecurities. Hopefully one day I'm brave enough to show you all what it is.

Come Back Down

I also love Lifehouse.

You can only be young once, But you can be Immature forever

~Dave Barry

Friday 13th's

Maybe they're not so bad after. The the Friday 13ths in the past year have been horrible. For the both of us. But yesterday proved me wrong. Maybe it's just all in my head.

Things that Flickr want me to do:

  • Buy thousands of dresses, shorts, shoes, tops and skirts. I wear my jeans too much. But I love jeans, I love denim
  • Get an SLR -_-
  • Take pictures of myself and friends.
  • Becoming less camera shy
  • Find a field of some sort. Flower field, grass field, wheat field. Any.
  • Learn how to photoshop like Gino. Because he is way too talented for his own good.
  • Write and learn more songs on my keyboard
  • Steal my sisters clothes when they're out and take photos in them in random poses, places and times.
  • Learn how to dance
  • Get a flickr account. Damn them. They got to me....

Photographs - jane.bird

Flickr is pretty much half my day now.

my mind is filled with photographs
like my walls
i cant seem to take them down, though
and when i try to take them down
there they are, stained under the crown of my walls
and there they are underneath it all
and so i lay down, staring at the ceiling
and there they are, constellations in the stars
so i turn over onto my face and i
face the floorboards,
and i hear them creaking in the floorboards
photographs, the photographs
of you
the photographs of you

Thursday, 12 November 2009


The home phone started ringing and i picked up. All i heard from the other end was really nice instrumental. I thought it was Lucas but he was online and when I asked him he said no. I started freaking out but the music being played was really nice. I just stood in the middle of my room, listening for a whole minute to this music.

Then Michelle put me off hold xD

The music they give you when you're on hold is really pretty. xP

I love thunderstorms

Things to do:

  • Get chalk and draw in the backyard or on the driveway when I know it's going to be rainy soon
  • Have a massive, full on water fight in Summer holidays with my friends
  • Come up with another song
  • Fill the blank canvas I asked Sammy to buy me
  • On a sunny sunny day with no plans or work, lay in the backyard on my blue chair until the stars come out
  • Go Christmas and birthday present shopping
  • Get a job to be able to pay for the presents
  • Come out alive

Owl City <3

His songs are so cute. In love with "Saltwater Room", "If My Heart Was A House" and "Vanilla Twilight"


I don't care. Get the picture. Move on.

Tuesday, 10 November 2009

Close calls, flickr, you and procrastination are my life

So Close - Jon McLaughlin

Probably already posted this up but still.

You're in my arms
And all the world is calm
The music playing on for only two
So close together
And when I'm with you
So close to feeling alive

A life goes by
Romantic dreams will stop
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew
So close was waiting, waiting here with you
And now forever I know
All that I wanted to hold you
So close

So close to reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
And now you're beside me and look how far we've come
So far we are so close How could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?
We're so close
To reaching that famous happy end
And almost believing this was not pretend
Let's go on dreaming for we know we are
So close
So close
And still so far

You know what I hate?

Unecessary drama


Oh geez I'm such a sad individual.


if you sing that damn song again. I will hurt you. *nod. Yes I will.

I just wanna

spend a whole day with my friends in the sun. Somewhere we can all just laugh and talk about random things, not worry about all the crap we might have to face back at home, just be the happy carefree teenagers we're supposed to be. On this day I hope to also go shopping and have an awesome photoshoot in a field that we discovered on one of our careless, spontaneous adventures.

It's days like these

that feel so surreal. Strange because it wasn't normal, out of the routine. I still loved it. Hanging out with friends on a beautiful Spring day and then spending the afternoon with you. Gotta admit coming home was the saddest part of my day.

Trust Me

Monday, 9 November 2009

Would I make a good peer support leader?

I guess I'm good with listening and empathising. But then again I'm disorganised, have had bad experiences with trying to help juniors, and can't really even lead my own life. But I really do want to try and help out a little. Hrmmmm.

Going through

that bi-polar stage of my life where everything can go up or down within one conversation. Man being a teenager sucks. For the teenager AND the people around. It's the only time apart from if you're pregnant or that time of the month when we can all say it's the hormones fault.

Sunday, 8 November 2009


because of the stupid person I am, I left my history book with all notes at school.

What are we going to do?

What are we doing?

From now on

I'm just going to avoid as much contact as I can from them. Talk when I have to in short-non-conversation-starting responses. Wake up early and leave before they do. Come home and confine myself to my room or the kitchen. Find a place where it is safe and where they don't know. Do my homework, assignments, keyboard, talk to people on msn, go out on weekends and get a job. Apply for the student program at Taronga Zoo for next year. Make plans. Go through with them.

Saturday, 7 November 2009

I want to get out of here

anywhere is fine. As long as it's away from these people. I don't care what they say anymore. It's all the same. Never different. Cause they never try to understand, instead they try to make me understand. They just don't realise that I understand completely but that doesn't mean it's fair or that I accept it.

I just got to get out of here. Be it by taxi, train, bus, plane, foot, car I don't care. Be it across the road, across the country or across the world. I want to be anywhere but here.

Today I Got:

  • 6 Buses
  • 1 Taxi
  • whacked/slapped in the eye by some guy on the bus accidentally
  • nice time with friends while taking photos at Bondi Beach
  • Mr Whippy choc top
  • to make friends with a taxi driver
  • to sing you my song
  • you

Thursday, 5 November 2009

What is wrong with me?

I understand but I still feel uncomfortable about it. It isn't fair because I shouldn't just say you can't come to see your friend. It's just the history and my insecurities I guess.


Ms Laskas

Anywhere But Here - Mayday Parade

Tonight is the one thing left
And I haven't said it yet
I'm falling and the writing's on the wall

Today was misery
And I just can't believe this happened
And I finally broke down
(I finally broke down)
She held on to my heart
But now my only star is falling
And it's burning to the ground
Now I'm crying out

Secret love, my escape
Take me far, far away
Secret love, are you there?
Will you answer my prayer?
Please take me anywhere but here
Anywhere but here

You're all I've got right now
No one else figures out this feeling
And how lonely it can get
(How lonely it can get)
These words can cut right through
'Cause all along I knew you're sorry
But you haven't said it yet
But I won't forget

Secret love, my escape
Take me far, far away
Secret love, are you there?
Will you answer my prayer?
Please take me anywhere but here

When we're together
Thoughts of her disappear
If I fell to pieces
You'll heal this pain I feel

Secret love, my escape
Take me far, far away
Secret love, are you there?
Will you answer my prayer?

Secret love, my escape
Take me far, far away
Secret love, are you there?
Will you answer my prayer?
Please take me anywhere but here
Anywhere but here
Ahhh have I mentioned how awesome Mayday Parade is and that I love them?? Well..yeah. <3333

Wednesday, 4 November 2009

I think the weather is screwing us up...nah I'm just looking for other things to take the blame

The day has been so violent but it ended resolved and fixed and better

Tuesday, 3 November 2009

"The earlier you sleep, the sooner tomorrow comes"

Courtney Fong

Near To You - A Fine Frenzy

Near to you, I am healing
But it's taking so long
'Cause though he's gone
And you are wonderful
It's hard to move on
Yet, I'm better near to you.

You and I have something different
And I'm enjoying it cautiously
I'm battle scarred, I am working oh so hard
To get back to who I used to be

He's disappearing
Fading suddelly
I'm so close to being yours
Won't you stay with me

Near to you, I am healing
But it's taking so long
'Cause though he's gone
And you are wonderful
It's hard to move on
Yet, I'm better near to you.

I only know that I am
Better where you are
I only know that I am
Better where you are
I only know that I belong
Where you are

Near to you, I am healing
But it's taking so long
Though he's gone
And you are wonderful
It's hard to move on

Near to you, I am healing
But it's taking so long
'Cause though he's gone
And you are wonderful
It's hard to move on
Yet, I'm better near to you.

Yet, I'm better near to you.


I can't concentrate
I'm not thinking straight

Finished my tissue box
But I still can't see through it all

Why is that even though you're the one who hurt me
I still need you, I still want you, to be here to comfort me most?


Thirty Seven Freaking Degrees

just happened to happen on a day like this

Monday, 2 November 2009

I just can't stay here anymore

I shouldn't exist

We all know it'll be better that way

Sunday, 1 November 2009


I wanna buy every single thing on this website


I'm listening to Mayday Parade's cover of the Pussycat Dolls' 'When I Grow Up'. I can't tell if its good, bad or plain funny. It's so weird xD


I've been such a downer lately. Ignore me xD.

I'm alright, I really am. I'm just being a hypocrite and a drama queen. I just gotta move on and bounce back fast like I usually do. I'm wasting my time being an angsty teenager when there are so many more beautiful things that the world has to offer. So I just gotta get my priorities straight, some motivation, you and faith. *breathes continuously*


has gotten my hopes up, brought them crashing down and rubbed some salt into the wounds from the fall. Delayed emails, disconnections and cappedness is just the beginning.

Down - Jay Sean

So leave it behind cause we have a night to get away.
So come on and fly with me as we make our great escape
So why don't we run away?

I wonder

How on earth do you guys put up with me? It amazes me. Just another brilliant quality to add to your Why-I-Am-Awesome list...