Thursday, 31 December 2009


The beginning was about healing
The middle was about moving on
The end was about new beginnings.
It was all crazy.

I can't think of anything deep or great to say about 2009. So I shall just list words that mean a lot to me.

MSN. Breakups. Depression. New friendships. Sneaking around. Late night convos. DnMs. Ice cream. Easyway. Eastershow. Rice. Moving on. Tests. Exams. Performances. Spiritacular. Michael Jackson. Movies. Music. Weekends. School. Youtube. Downloads. iPods. Girl drama. Boy drama. Crying. Laughing. Happiness. Macs. Beach. Park. Birthday parties. Suprise birthday parties. Photos. Food. Dancing. Singing. Nuns. Teachers. Locker room. Park. Stories. Glee. Pregnacies. Boyfriends. Girlfriends. Bestfriends. Enemies. Relatives. Hugs. Kisses. Fights. Breakdowns. Buses. Trains. Taxis. Carpools. Haircuts. Art. New Moon. Harry Potter. Concerts. Presents. Covers. Junk Food. Make ups. Park. Webcam. Nacho Fries.Changes. Love. Ilyafam.

Happy new year. May this one be better then the last. Hopefully. Make the most of it. Cause there is only one time that there will be a 2010 and we've only got one life to live


the last hour of 2009 by myself...wonder if this is a sneak peek into the new year.

Wednesday, 30 December 2009


I want it to rain. I need it to rain. The air is getting hard for me to breathe in properly.

Tuesday, 29 December 2009

Would love to

go to a masquerade. My ultimate dream party.

Natalie Dormer

is gorgeous.


"Life feels weird at the moment. I feel like something big or a massive change is about to happen. Hopefully it's something good. I'm content at the moment; everything seems fine. I'm feeling like I'm looking for something nowadays too."

--Sunday 11th October 2009

Did things change? Was it good? Did I find it?

These are a few of my favourite things (part deux)

  • Late night conversations
  • Finding bargains in stores
  • When plans fall through
  • DnMs
  • Getting to know someone
  • The musty smell of old books.
  • Getting back to school shopping
  • The first day back at school
  • Finding something I've lost
  • When you're just messing around with something but it becomes something so much more like a scribble becomes an artwork or jamming ends up being a song
  • When you fix something
  • Getting mail or a parcel
  • Bumping into an old friend while I'm out
  • Seeing someone after it feels like forever since you last saw them
  • Homemade presents
  • Making personal jokes and referring back to it
  • Hanging out with friends and forgetting about everything else
  • Watching movies in the cinemas and buying CDs
  • Sneaking off

It seems

that our goodbyes are getting longer and harder.

Monday, 28 December 2009

MidKnight - AJ Rafael

There's this place, it's called home
For me I don't know where to go
I don't know who I'm supposed to be
Or who I am
I feel so damn lost in the cold

There's this thing called the heart
Well mine beats in the rhythm of the dark
I can't find what my purpose is
Or who I am
I feel so damn lost in this world

Saving the world's not enough
Maybe if I knew a little more about love
Then I could finally find who I am
And then you'll agree
There's more to me then what you see

(Save me, save me)
Save me, yeah.


was nice. Spent time in Newcastle with friends and family. Had lots of cards games, karaoke, food and really good conversations. The talks were good, they were about asian parents, generations and personalities. Very in depth. It was too formal to be a DnM but was deeper than they usual discussion.

Happy belated Merry Christmas. I can't tell if this year was too slow or too fast. I'm lost in time and in my own head.

Monday, 21 December 2009

Season 7 Finale

of One Tree Hill was....good. Can't wait till next season. Might be a bit predictable though....meh =D

Youtube more

Legaci. They do awesome old school and new RnB covers and medelies

Sunday, 20 December 2009

About A Boy

was on tonight. Hugh Grant's character was comparing his life to a tv show. I understood.

On my show where I'm the main character (the angsty and weird teenger that feels no one understands and yet isn't emo...yet) and my family and friends are regulars.

Friends of friends, people at school and extended family are extras and recurring characters.

Drama is

My life show genre would be....hrmmm. I don't know. Is teenager a genre?

My show would be the most like OTH (season 1-4, when everyone was still in high school) except more realistic and normal which pretty much means less sex, drugs and our parents, although equally emotionally damaging, are less evil.

What TV show is your life most like?

Youtube Musicians

David Choi, Sam Tsui, Kina Grannis, AJ Rafael = <3

Happy Birthday Party

Wow. Ok lots of planning for one week. Here was the original plan for the day for Mattie's "Suprise" party:

11: Picnic at the park
2.25: The Avatar 3D
5.30:Carols In Domain
Chip In Present: Blue Ipod Nano

After lots of irritation, questions and 5 emails later it changed to:

10.30: Picnic at park. (if piss pouring rain then picnic cancelled)
1: Avater 2D (20$ for 3D)
5:Carols in Domain
Chip In Present: Green Ipod Nano (they ran out of blue)

Lots of buses and threatening rain clouds, card games, soft drinks and phone calls and sneak offs. My favourite part was movies. Avatar is pretty awesome. Happy birthday to Chris and Luke.

P.S. Shoutout of love to God for listening to my prayers to hold off the rain that us mortals predicted for last night at Carols. <3

Friday, 18 December 2009

Happy Birthday Luke!


a bad feeling. Trying to be positive but...


was sooooooooooooo awkward xD


I'm getting back into old songs and artists who we haven't heard of in a while.

The one

day the bus go on a strike. Is one of the days I need it most.

Tuesday, 15 December 2009

Breakfast At Tiffany's

easily went up to my top two favourite movies of all time just then. Audrey Hepburn is the sweetest and cutest I have ever seen. Watch it!

Sunday, 13 December 2009

Carols in Matraville

Went with Luke and saw heaps of people there. From OLSH and Marcelline. Didn't know that many people lived in Matraville. Heaps of people. But they weren't singing Christmas Carols until the very end.

So me and Luke spent the rest of the night walking around the houses and looking at Christmas lights and then playing games in the park. It was a really really nice night. One and a half more weeks til Christmas!

StephSteph's Partay


Lol everyone was like FLORAL? CASUAL? COLOURFUL?? for the theme. Turns out it was all three.

Got there a little late. Sammy had to get home from city. People were swimming, sitting, talking and Luke and Christie brought their guitars. It was nice. Luke and Gary were paranoid and freaked out that Steph's brother was gna bash them.

Then came cake. There was 3 of them. We kept on stealing everyone's pavlova. It was sooo good. Then we went to the backyard to just hang around. More guitar and singing. It was really nice.

Happy Birthday StephSteph. Ilyy

Picnic Day


Walked to Centennial Park with what was left of the school. Freaking long walk man. Got there, ate a crapload of junk food, skipping rope, limbo, poker, uno and braiding bracelets and hair. Such a girly day. It was good though. Very nice weather. Took photos with teachers that are leaving the school.

We then walked back and we were all really thirsty. I was dying. Guess what we did at school? Skip even more. Oh yeahhhhh. Then last bell of the last day of the year at school rang. I got upset on the bus to school when I realised it would be my last picnic day ever.

Ily 9B302!


Religion: A
English: A
Maths: B
Science: B
History: A
Commerce: A
Philosophy: B
PDHPE: A (Holy crap...)
Visual Arts: C (yeah I know)

Tuesday, 8 December 2009


replying to someone elses personal message on msn through your own pm is win.


MIJI! You're future husband should do this:

Today, I woke up to an invitation from my boyfriend to draw with him on the Doodle Buddy app on our iPhones. I accepted. My boyfriend then wrote will you marry me? And my closet doors burst open, my boyfriend ninja-rolled to my bed, got on one knee, pulled out a ring and asked again. Of course I said yes. MLIA

MLIA of the day

"Tomorrow, I have to hand back all my textbooks to the library. As I have a habit of adding annotations(in pen) to the margins, I was panicking a little, until I realised that at the start of the year I had signed my name in all of my textbooks as 'The Half-Blood Prince'. Problem solved. MLIA"

Long time

no post. Well it's because my computer area was infested with bedbugs which bit me and made me look like a diseased idiot. ...well...more of one.

Just came home from getting my Mac. The principal's like "h you've been bugging us for 6 months about these things." I said to Mich ( who was my unwilling guardian for the night, more on that later) "That's cause you promised us Macs 6 months ago."

But yeah, bludging 3 periods tmrw for Macbook "boot camp". Sounds brutal. Not really.

Wednesday, 2 December 2009

I always..

like the covers than the original song. Go to youtube and find the user ilajil. You'll then know what I'm talking about.

Gotta love..

Hair flipping

Tuesday, 1 December 2009

I wrote

a poem a couple of weeks ago. I just reread it. I love it. <33

1st of December

omggggggggg this year has been hectic. And fast.



Monday, 30 November 2009

Playlist: Random2 (Yeah that's actually what I named it..)

Colorblind - Counting Crows (<<33333333333)
Taking Chances - Glee (<3)
Almost Lover (Remix) - A Fine Frenzy
Hometown Glory - Adele
Hanging By A Moment - Lifehouse (<3333)
Meet Us Here - The Glorious Unseen
One Man Drinking Games - Mayday Parade
You Be the Anchor That Keeps My Feet On the Ground, I'll be the Wings that Keeps Your Head in the Clouds - Mayday Parade (Longass song titles ftw)
The Last Something That Meant Anything - Mayday Parade
Your Song - Mayday Parade
Walk On Water Or Drown - Mayday Parade
Saltwater Room - Owl City
If My Heart Was A House - Owl City
Vanilla Twilight - Owl City
Cave In - Owl City
I'll Meet You There - Owl City
Our Song - Taylor Swift
White Horse - Taylor Swift
Defying Gravity - Glee
On My Own - Glee
Maybe This Time - Glee
Don't Stop Believin' - Glee
I Gotta Figure This Out - Erin McCarley


..refrain...from being...emo. Lol jks. But yeah if I'm happy then there's nothing to complain or whine or cry about. That's why most of my posts lately have been emo and crap. (well technically all of them are crap so that's just a pathetic lame excuse...shutup)

OK umm happy stuff.....ilyfam. hehehhe. =D

Didn't go to school today but I shall go tomorrow! Jigging school is a sin, don't do it children. Crap I'm talking to imaginary kids. I'm delirious from the medication that I will consume in a few hours time. Yeah something is seriously wrong with me.

More happy stuff: I deposited money! Finally! and ummm I made a playlist on Windows Media Player which I haven't done in a while. OH it rained!!!!! Happy happy happy. AND I got oreos with strawberry filling! It would be even more awesome if I find where grandma put them. Tomorrow I'm seeing Luke after....4 days YAY.

Side note: I hate going to the doctors. A lot.

OH btw there's a tiny chance I might be going to America these holidays. I doubt it though, I don't really want to go either. Long story, not really, just a lot of...well not complications, just pro's and big cons.

Saturday, 28 November 2009

I didn't

think I could hate myself more. I proved myself wrong.


Is amazing. So cute and heartwarming.


hate them or love them. Right now, I hate them.

Saltwater Room - Owl City

Time together is just never quite enough
When you and I are alone I never felt so at home
What will it take to make or break this hint of love?
We need time
Only time
When we're apart, whatever are you thinking of
If this is what I call home, why does it feel so alone?
So darling do you we'd fall in love?
All the time
All the time

I love this song. I used it in my visual arts presentation. Owl City is *heart*


I bought tights, a top and a skirt from Eastgardens today. All of it together was under $60, so happy. Now that I think about it, I need a new job and I need to deposit more money into my account too...

I also bought Pocky, ice cream and snacks. I really need to restock on my secret stash. I've only got a few Cola Chupa Chups left.

My bad

Haven't blogged in a couple of days. I've got no excuse. It's not like anyone reads this anyways. I'm just feeling so tired and drained these days. I don't know if it's the weather or something but it's really uncomfortable. I've got no energy.


choices, chances, decisions and complications

Monday, 23 November 2009

I hate it when

people go all silent right after you pour out your soul or feelings or secrets to someone. It makes me think I've done or said something wrong. But when they say all the right things afterwards, then it's.....pretty amazing.

Sunday, 22 November 2009

Midnight Sun Snippet

"Why won't you leave me alone?"
Believe me, I wanted to say. I've tried
Oh, and also, I'm wretchedly in love with you.

heheheh. I can't wait until this comes out. Gets me wondering about what boys think about. I love Edward's mind and thought process. Especially when Bella is in danger or when another guy thinks about her. It's funny, sweet and completely adorable his overprotectivness and jealousy and absolute, complete oblivious love for Bella.


Went I stepped outside it was as if a giant dragon was breathing hot air onto the world but it was nice to be outside despite the struggle to breathe. Inside is cool and air conned but when we put on air con, we shut the windows and when we shut the windows, the smell of fish is spread from the kitchen to throughout the house. So should I go outside and not breathe properly or stay inside and smell fish for the entire night?

God I'm hoping it'll pour soon...

This week

is going to be painful


You know all that water you said was under the bridge? Well now the water is flooding the place. And I'm drowning in it.

Saturday, 21 November 2009

Maybe This Time

Everybody, they love a winner
So nobody loved me
Lady Peaceful, Lady Happy
That's what I long to be
All the odds are
They're in my favour
Something's bound to give in
It's gonna happen
Happen some time
Maybe this time I'll win

I heart strawberry and raspberries

Or any red coloured fruit. Yumm

New Moon

So much better then the first one. Still, there was some pretty bad acting moments and really cheesy and corny bits. But noneless, an amazing night.

Went over to Luke's first, then movies. When Luke found out there were two showings and the one I was in was full, he didn't wanna sneak in to watch it with the whole group so I just went to watch it was him. Connie, her boyfriend and Teresa was there.

I had a really good time. Even if the movie stuffed up a lot in the beginning.


Wednesday, 18 November 2009


Why is it that I'm always the one who fkn complicates and ruins things for everyone?

It's just

one of those moments when we need each other most. And then I realise that we'll always need each other more than anything.

You know what I realised?

We both had shyt days on our mother's birthdays.


Oh btw....

...I hate myself

Bad Blogger

Haven't posted in a while because I'm lazy, I've forgotten and I've also been busy. Busy with school and drama. All of this has got me dying for the Summer holidays. I need something to distract me too.

I want one good day. I need one good day. Where no one and nothing is sad, angry, annoying, disappointed or disappointing or bad. I want one day where it can begin happy and end happy. I'm not asking for something awesome or amzaing to happen. A day where nothing bad happens is all I want, is all I need.

Look through

it all and see what really matters.

Sunday, 15 November 2009

Mary's Dance Concert

This morning was, crazy. But eventually I made it to Luke's place where I had the best time ever. We memorised the Down by Jay Sean and it was stuck in our heads for the rest of the day. He tried to teach me how to play Hearts. I sorta get it more but I still fail.

Then we picked up Sharon and looked at more bridal dress photos. They look soooooooooooo pretty <33.>

Mary and her sisters' dancing.............omgggggg. They're so good. I was like... O.O.
I had to go home, couldn't stay for dinner though. That was a let down. But congrats to Mary and Isabel.

Saturday, 14 November 2009


Do you know the bone structure of a hand? No? Here:

Ok, now do you see the three bones that make the thumb? Those on my right hand are freaking aching. It's not painful but it's enough to be noticable and irritating. It think something's wrong with the joints.

Kudos, Kung Fu!

Wow I love how people use quotes in their description boxes or song lyrics. This one was on Flickr, (Un)quenchable Flame by {Just Call me S} :

"Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.”
~Bruce Lee

Good on ya Bruce. Show those "hardcore", tank, testosterone, ego-filled fighters how a real man talks.

I'm working

lol if you read the title and got excited cause I finally got a job. I didn't MUAHAHHAHA..wahh. I need one.

But yeah I'm working on a self help project to help me build my confidence up and get rid of my insecurities. Hopefully one day I'm brave enough to show you all what it is.

Come Back Down

I also love Lifehouse.

You can only be young once, But you can be Immature forever

~Dave Barry

Friday 13th's

Maybe they're not so bad after. The the Friday 13ths in the past year have been horrible. For the both of us. But yesterday proved me wrong. Maybe it's just all in my head.

Things that Flickr want me to do:

  • Buy thousands of dresses, shorts, shoes, tops and skirts. I wear my jeans too much. But I love jeans, I love denim
  • Get an SLR -_-
  • Take pictures of myself and friends.
  • Becoming less camera shy
  • Find a field of some sort. Flower field, grass field, wheat field. Any.
  • Learn how to photoshop like Gino. Because he is way too talented for his own good.
  • Write and learn more songs on my keyboard
  • Steal my sisters clothes when they're out and take photos in them in random poses, places and times.
  • Learn how to dance
  • Get a flickr account. Damn them. They got to me....

Photographs - jane.bird

Flickr is pretty much half my day now.

my mind is filled with photographs
like my walls
i cant seem to take them down, though
and when i try to take them down
there they are, stained under the crown of my walls
and there they are underneath it all
and so i lay down, staring at the ceiling
and there they are, constellations in the stars
so i turn over onto my face and i
face the floorboards,
and i hear them creaking in the floorboards
photographs, the photographs
of you
the photographs of you

Thursday, 12 November 2009


The home phone started ringing and i picked up. All i heard from the other end was really nice instrumental. I thought it was Lucas but he was online and when I asked him he said no. I started freaking out but the music being played was really nice. I just stood in the middle of my room, listening for a whole minute to this music.

Then Michelle put me off hold xD

The music they give you when you're on hold is really pretty. xP

I love thunderstorms

Things to do:

  • Get chalk and draw in the backyard or on the driveway when I know it's going to be rainy soon
  • Have a massive, full on water fight in Summer holidays with my friends
  • Come up with another song
  • Fill the blank canvas I asked Sammy to buy me
  • On a sunny sunny day with no plans or work, lay in the backyard on my blue chair until the stars come out
  • Go Christmas and birthday present shopping
  • Get a job to be able to pay for the presents
  • Come out alive

Owl City <3

His songs are so cute. In love with "Saltwater Room", "If My Heart Was A House" and "Vanilla Twilight"


I don't care. Get the picture. Move on.

Tuesday, 10 November 2009

Close calls, flickr, you and procrastination are my life

So Close - Jon McLaughlin

Probably already posted this up but still.

You're in my arms
And all the world is calm
The music playing on for only two
So close together
And when I'm with you
So close to feeling alive

A life goes by
Romantic dreams will stop
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew
So close was waiting, waiting here with you
And now forever I know
All that I wanted to hold you
So close

So close to reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
And now you're beside me and look how far we've come
So far we are so close How could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?
We're so close
To reaching that famous happy end
And almost believing this was not pretend
Let's go on dreaming for we know we are
So close
So close
And still so far

You know what I hate?

Unecessary drama


Oh geez I'm such a sad individual.


if you sing that damn song again. I will hurt you. *nod. Yes I will.

I just wanna

spend a whole day with my friends in the sun. Somewhere we can all just laugh and talk about random things, not worry about all the crap we might have to face back at home, just be the happy carefree teenagers we're supposed to be. On this day I hope to also go shopping and have an awesome photoshoot in a field that we discovered on one of our careless, spontaneous adventures.

It's days like these

that feel so surreal. Strange because it wasn't normal, out of the routine. I still loved it. Hanging out with friends on a beautiful Spring day and then spending the afternoon with you. Gotta admit coming home was the saddest part of my day.

Trust Me

Monday, 9 November 2009

Would I make a good peer support leader?

I guess I'm good with listening and empathising. But then again I'm disorganised, have had bad experiences with trying to help juniors, and can't really even lead my own life. But I really do want to try and help out a little. Hrmmmm.

Going through

that bi-polar stage of my life where everything can go up or down within one conversation. Man being a teenager sucks. For the teenager AND the people around. It's the only time apart from if you're pregnant or that time of the month when we can all say it's the hormones fault.

Sunday, 8 November 2009


because of the stupid person I am, I left my history book with all notes at school.

What are we going to do?

What are we doing?

From now on

I'm just going to avoid as much contact as I can from them. Talk when I have to in short-non-conversation-starting responses. Wake up early and leave before they do. Come home and confine myself to my room or the kitchen. Find a place where it is safe and where they don't know. Do my homework, assignments, keyboard, talk to people on msn, go out on weekends and get a job. Apply for the student program at Taronga Zoo for next year. Make plans. Go through with them.

Saturday, 7 November 2009

I want to get out of here

anywhere is fine. As long as it's away from these people. I don't care what they say anymore. It's all the same. Never different. Cause they never try to understand, instead they try to make me understand. They just don't realise that I understand completely but that doesn't mean it's fair or that I accept it.

I just got to get out of here. Be it by taxi, train, bus, plane, foot, car I don't care. Be it across the road, across the country or across the world. I want to be anywhere but here.

Today I Got:

  • 6 Buses
  • 1 Taxi
  • whacked/slapped in the eye by some guy on the bus accidentally
  • nice time with friends while taking photos at Bondi Beach
  • Mr Whippy choc top
  • to make friends with a taxi driver
  • to sing you my song
  • you

Thursday, 5 November 2009

What is wrong with me?

I understand but I still feel uncomfortable about it. It isn't fair because I shouldn't just say you can't come to see your friend. It's just the history and my insecurities I guess.


Ms Laskas

Anywhere But Here - Mayday Parade

Tonight is the one thing left
And I haven't said it yet
I'm falling and the writing's on the wall

Today was misery
And I just can't believe this happened
And I finally broke down
(I finally broke down)
She held on to my heart
But now my only star is falling
And it's burning to the ground
Now I'm crying out

Secret love, my escape
Take me far, far away
Secret love, are you there?
Will you answer my prayer?
Please take me anywhere but here
Anywhere but here

You're all I've got right now
No one else figures out this feeling
And how lonely it can get
(How lonely it can get)
These words can cut right through
'Cause all along I knew you're sorry
But you haven't said it yet
But I won't forget

Secret love, my escape
Take me far, far away
Secret love, are you there?
Will you answer my prayer?
Please take me anywhere but here

When we're together
Thoughts of her disappear
If I fell to pieces
You'll heal this pain I feel

Secret love, my escape
Take me far, far away
Secret love, are you there?
Will you answer my prayer?

Secret love, my escape
Take me far, far away
Secret love, are you there?
Will you answer my prayer?
Please take me anywhere but here
Anywhere but here
Ahhh have I mentioned how awesome Mayday Parade is and that I love them?? Well..yeah. <3333

Wednesday, 4 November 2009

I think the weather is screwing us up...nah I'm just looking for other things to take the blame

The day has been so violent but it ended resolved and fixed and better

Tuesday, 3 November 2009

"The earlier you sleep, the sooner tomorrow comes"

Courtney Fong

Near To You - A Fine Frenzy

Near to you, I am healing
But it's taking so long
'Cause though he's gone
And you are wonderful
It's hard to move on
Yet, I'm better near to you.

You and I have something different
And I'm enjoying it cautiously
I'm battle scarred, I am working oh so hard
To get back to who I used to be

He's disappearing
Fading suddelly
I'm so close to being yours
Won't you stay with me

Near to you, I am healing
But it's taking so long
'Cause though he's gone
And you are wonderful
It's hard to move on
Yet, I'm better near to you.

I only know that I am
Better where you are
I only know that I am
Better where you are
I only know that I belong
Where you are

Near to you, I am healing
But it's taking so long
Though he's gone
And you are wonderful
It's hard to move on

Near to you, I am healing
But it's taking so long
'Cause though he's gone
And you are wonderful
It's hard to move on
Yet, I'm better near to you.

Yet, I'm better near to you.


I can't concentrate
I'm not thinking straight

Finished my tissue box
But I still can't see through it all

Why is that even though you're the one who hurt me
I still need you, I still want you, to be here to comfort me most?


Thirty Seven Freaking Degrees

just happened to happen on a day like this

Monday, 2 November 2009

I just can't stay here anymore

I shouldn't exist

We all know it'll be better that way

Sunday, 1 November 2009


I wanna buy every single thing on this website


I'm listening to Mayday Parade's cover of the Pussycat Dolls' 'When I Grow Up'. I can't tell if its good, bad or plain funny. It's so weird xD


I've been such a downer lately. Ignore me xD.

I'm alright, I really am. I'm just being a hypocrite and a drama queen. I just gotta move on and bounce back fast like I usually do. I'm wasting my time being an angsty teenager when there are so many more beautiful things that the world has to offer. So I just gotta get my priorities straight, some motivation, you and faith. *breathes continuously*


has gotten my hopes up, brought them crashing down and rubbed some salt into the wounds from the fall. Delayed emails, disconnections and cappedness is just the beginning.

Down - Jay Sean

So leave it behind cause we have a night to get away.
So come on and fly with me as we make our great escape
So why don't we run away?

I wonder

How on earth do you guys put up with me? It amazes me. Just another brilliant quality to add to your Why-I-Am-Awesome list...

Saturday, 31 October 2009


I've been such a party pooper and raining on everyone's parade. *sigh. I suck

I'm too

scared to dream now. Too scared to sleep. Too scared to close my eyes.


Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek Glee Gleek

This morning

has been bombarding me with music. Lyrics are coming out, the keyboard is singing. Locking myself in my room and just letting the music consume me.


It scared me so much. I never want to experience that again.

Friday, 30 October 2009

My day

started off crap. Hated the morning. I was super tired and kept yawning for half the day. By lunch it was getting better. By the end of school it was alright but I had a massive headache. After school I was completely happy. At home I was simply content. It was a down to up day.

Recorded it

It's hopeless. No point. Yet I keep on doing it. And failing. Epically. My voice sounds like crap when recorded. Crap multiplied by a million plus one. Ew. Damn.

Hometown Glory - Adele

From my hometown, memories are fresh
From my hometown, oh the people I've met
Are the wonders of my world
Are the wonders of my world
Are the wonders of this world
Are the wonders of mine.

Thursday, 29 October 2009

Beauty and the Geek

makes me feel so uncomfortable sometimes just watching the beauty's talk about things they don't know about. When I watch uncomfortable scenes on TV or a movie I tend to try and hide and not watch them humiliate themselves or get humiliated. It's hard for me to see someone being laughed at when you know they're a beautiful person who doesn't deserve it. Confrontations and humiliation is just not my thing.

I just

feel so tired. On so many levels.

Don't Stop Believing

I've decided to do the finale dance for speech night. At first we thought we were going to dance to I Gotta Feeling by BEP but now we're doing Don't Stop Believing from Glee. Totally excited. Auditions for singers on Monday. I don't know whether I should try out or not. For one thing I don't think I'll make it. For another I really like dancing. Anyways I'm just hyped up about the song itself.

Glee's on tonight. I think my whole week leads up and looks forward to watching it most now. Which is quite sad. But yesh, I heart being Gleek xD

Wednesday, 28 October 2009

I'm getting back into sketching again


Means I love you in dino language. But my stomach is making weird rawr noises and I'm not loving it. It's not painful (well rare moments it does), it's like....weird. Its like rumbling and stuff. I'm not hungry, I don't need to go to the bathroom. It worries me....not really...just a tiny bit. It's just there...

You've got me

frustrated, writing songs, craving oreos, getting distracted, going insane, confused, listening to music, smiling, crying, wondering, worried, anxious, happy, missing you.


I'm getting less and less scared of you. Now I feel I can finally have a little more confidence in myself and stand up for myself. I just have much much more to go. I'm glad to see myself changing for the better finally.

I like your hair. Who does your hair? I wanna go there.

My hair is finally growing. it's nearly as long as it used to be now. It's been a while since it has been. Have i changed that much physically since primary school? Probably not xP

jane.bird on flickr

"forever, i will love you, because love doesn't die... sometimes it just changes. and real love is unconditional... even when the conditions of our relationship have changed.
i still pray for you.
i still pray for those things about your heart that only i knew."

This girl is amazing. Inside and out. Go check her stream on Flickr. Absolutely inspiring.

Monday, 26 October 2009

I think

we need to talk. I miss you so much. I need to see you. I want to be with you. It scares me how much I do.

Sunday, 25 October 2009

One Man Drinking Games - Mayday Parade

And you said it would be funny to keep me hanging in suspense
Then I'd run over to your house and I'd scale the chainlink fence
That borders your back yard and then I'd climb through your window
And I'd whisper that I love you as you fall out of your clothes
And we'd lay there in the darkness like the dream of you I had
Where we captured all the fireflies and knew what time we had
Could be counted on your fingertips, that almost made you cry
You let me hold you tightly as we said all our goodbyes ohhh

May I say I loved you more?
May I say I loved you more?
I love this song and Mayday Parade too

400th post

Last Night

I had a dream. It was awesome.

My Good Deed

Yesterday as I was walking to the restaurant I saw an old lady banging on her door. I asked what was wrong and she locked herself out of her home. I stayed with her for a few minutes trying to figure out what to do. I offered my phone and she called someone with the spare key. I got so worried that person wouldn't be able to come. It all turned out alright though. It made me feel good afterwards that I contributed to society in a way. =P

The Storm

was amazing

Saturday, 24 October 2009

Holy Geez Man`

If it weren't for the ecosystem, I'd destroy all insects.


is majorly pissing me off.
It's something unpredicatable but in the end it's right. I hope you have the time of your life
“We only have one life to live, might as well chasing something that has meaning to me.”

-Phillip Wang

Friday, 23 October 2009

Happy Birthday

Christie, Mary and Dad.


It's you and only you. I had no idea. I'm new to all this. I'm sorry. I'm stupid. I've never hated myself more. If you says it's my fault then you're probably right. I can't even trust myself now. I should shut up. I'll shut up. I'll never ever do or say anything again. I've lost that right. I lost it a long time ago.

Thursday, 22 October 2009

Freaking hell

gotten more then 200 emails about one photo being commented within 1 hour on facebook


got me writing songs

You're my beautiful walking contradiction


Glee is awesome. I need some vitamin D...

I need you now.


Walking up from PE and on the stairs of the A-block when my right leg muscle seized up and started spasm-ing. Couldn't move my leg or my body or else it was would hurt even more. I was just standing there for a minute or two before I could slowly move myself down to sit on the stairs. Couldn't walk for another few minutes. After rubbing the area for a little while, the muscle loosened enough for me to walk without too much pain.Then for the rest of the school day I was limping a little.

Didn't want you guys to see me like that. I'm thinking it's genetic; grandma has a really bad case of it, Mich got it once and this wasn't the first time it happened to me. Thankfully this only lasted a couple of minutes.


was the first time in ages I accidentally fell asleep on the couch, watching television. It was wonderful =P

Wednesday, 21 October 2009

It's weird.. things turn out. How quickly some things can fall apart. How thing gradually come back together. How we feel while that happens. How we learn so many things during the process. I have to figure out what I need and what I want. Right now, all I need is his understanding and acceptance and I think then life could be perfect. Story of my life.

Don't Worry

Cause in the end, it'll all turn out fine.

Tuesday, 20 October 2009

If you're reading

pls comment and/or that didn't sound desperate. I just wanna know who reads this.


It's not you, it's not them, it's definately not him. It's just me; always just me.

Monday, 19 October 2009


I watched G-Force with Luke and L. It was alright. Cute. I miss then while we were waiting for the other people to finish watching Up, me and the guys were just standing on the balcony. Then I look up and see Michelle staring straight at me from opposite the balcony. I start to panic

She tells me to come over so I do. She tells me that we are having lasagna and garlic bread tonight and that I should run before dad comes back. Wow, she showed that she had niceness in her. Then we met up with two other people and we just walked around to nearly every department store to find the perfect type of exercise book for Luke. Then I got ice cream, we sat down for an hour doing nothing and trying to decide what to do.

Around 4, me and Luke went to catch the bus back to mine and visited Bob. Then he had to go. I spent the rest of my day trying to finish my art, which I stuffed up and had to redo. School was today. Better then I expected. =P

Saturday, 17 October 2009


Should I have a Scrubs, One Tree Hill or Greys Anatomy marathon while I do my last minute math holiday homework???

Friday, 16 October 2009

A Little Respect - Erasure

I keep hearing this song everywhere! I finally found it. Quite fun xP.


Damnit Bob..

Upside Down

Watched Up today with Luke. And I'm listening to the song Down. This amuses me. Yes...I am lame. The movie was really good. Cute. *heart*

Thursday, 15 October 2009

I'm Only Me When I'm With You - Taylor Swift


P.S. I Love You

Getting ready to watch it and from what I've heard so far about it, getting ready to cry my heart out.

Wednesday, 14 October 2009


Haven't seen ONE of the movies so far in my holiday list. Fail.


Georgie I think I accidentally left my Paramore CD in your thingymabob....

Tuesday, 13 October 2009

7 buses, 1 car, 1 taxi

Travel Info
392 - To Steph's, missed a stop so I had to walk more then I should've. Felt so unfit. Grawr

Car - Steph's mum drove me, steph and georgie to coogee where me met up with migi and took photos for Wylies competition. Twas fun

370 - To kingsford. After photos, Migi had to go so me, steph and georgie wanted to go Bondi to eat

400 - Got a chicken burrito from Bondi Junction. Didn't know it was mildly chilli...walked around to Greater Union in hopes of "bumping into" Anthony

400 - Kingsford. Everyone had to go home and work and stuff

391 - Matraville. I JUST got to this bus. Went home

309 - Mascot. Wanted to go to Luke's, hang and bum around for a while.

303 - Kyeemagh. Went to Lukes, debating over 15 minutes on what to do; go to Migi's, beach or a random park. Ended up in his backyard...he kept headbutting and poking me...strange boy xP nah nah jks, heart =D

Taxi - Home. Cause the next bus was at 6 and I would have been slaughtered by my parents if I got home too late

Sh-sh-shake it like a polaroid picture

For Wylies


go on an adventure to no where. Come on a road trip with me.

Monday, 12 October 2009


I love them so much. Thank youu! <33

Secret #28

One of my favourite songs to sing at the moment is Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen.


Different guy. Love this song! Down - Jay Sean. THis version is better though. All I need now are his piano chords and sheets....enjoy!

Secret #27

I love pretending to sing in the dark

Welcome Back

day number one
day number two
day number three
day number four
day number five
day number six
day number seven
day number eight


Life Happens - AJ Rafael

I think the world needs
Peace, love, clarity and serenity
Sorry my bad I've been listening to Fergie
Too much time is on our hands
So lets do what we can
To make the most of this
And we can conquer anything
Don't you worry about it

Cuz during the rough times
The war and the scandals and the bad rhymes
We'll make it together with a big smile
And maybe it'll work out this time around

Because life happens and it happens fast
It goes by so quick I dont know how long I'll last
Life happens and it so happens
That life's not fair
And with the delays and the roadways
We never think that it'll work out
But I know you and I know me
We're tough and we know whasup
Because life just happens

I think that you need
Peace, love, clarity, friends and family
They will help you through
All the problems that you're having
And know that you know that you gotta take a chance
At what you got and dont you
Stand around just waiting
Gotta ignore all the hating

We gotta reflect on
The future and whats holding us together
The ties that we make will last forever
And if we hold on then we can make it strong

Don't be discouraged by the storm
It hits me sometimes but I got to move on
I know you're worried bout what's wrong
But it in this lifetime all you need is love...

Sunday, 11 October 2009

I'll see you in my dreams

I'll sleep better tonight knowing, you're coming home.

Life feels weird at the moment. I feel like something big or a massive change is about to happen. Hopefully it's something good. I'm content at the moment; everything seems fine. I'm feeling like I'm looking for something nowadays too.

One day..

I long to have a house with a soundproof room in it so I can belt out anything without neighbours or roomates hearing. I also wish that one day I will have the courage to sing out loud as I do at home in front of my friends.

A little get to know me thingy

Well yeah it's 2 in the morning, I'm youtubing and not tired at all. So Yeah just a little thingymabob about some things that I know about myself. No personal details like home address or phone number or anything like that in case of pedos and stalkers =D

Nickname: Fong, Fongers, Fong Fong...anything with Fong in the beginning, or middle...or end

Grade: I'm in the 4th term of Year 9 (technically term 3 holidays but who cares)

I love anything musical even though I'm a noob at all of it and my friends are amazing in it.

My best friend's code name on this is Luke and he has been my rock ever since I've met this boy.

I like to do a lot of things like write, draw, sing, dance, cook, play keyboard but I'm really sucky in all of those fields so I gotta get my procrastinating and lazy ass of this computer chair and start practicing.

Two chinese parents, two older sisters and my grandma also lives with me

I'm Christian but not fully yet though I've been having the feeling lately that I've been getting more closer and closer.

I adore people for their talents, personalities, passion and general awesomeness

I am really really shy if you first meet me and I'll be hanging around the people I know more first, but if i see you around more then I'll eventually come out and not shutup =P

My obsession will forever be Sailor Moon

I'm directionally challenged, disorganised, indecisive and messy

I eat anything in front of me as long as it's not chilli or spicy in any way. Even if I'm not hungry and food is just right in front of me, I'll eventually eat

I'll do ridiculous things and go to weird lengths to not embarrass myself but in the end I usually embarrass myself more which helped me learn that the best way to brush those kinds of things of is to laugh it off and be comfortable with silly mistakes. Of course I don't always remember this sometimes.

I don't get angry, more annoyed or frustrated but never fully angry/raging/yelling&telling off. I try best to avoid confrontations or conflict. Yeah I'm one of those people =P

I try my best not to judge and listen first, but I admit I can get a bit prejudice and biased

If I ever get the rare compliment I get embarrassed but inside I'm like....having a freaking fireworks jumping for joy in accomplishment kind of thing. Outside I smile and say thank you as calmly as I can.

I'm a freak as you can probably tell

I'm a sucker for sweets, musicals, cute/epic cartoon characters and Disney/Movie songs.

The things I dislike most in people is backstabbing, behind the back talking, grudges, unjustified anger or reasons.

I love my friends and family very much even if sometimes they can be not so....understanding or as supportive or sensitive to me. We all have those moments.

Yeah this was WAAAAAAAAAAAAY longer then I intended. Imma go to sleepie nows. Gnite, ttyl, maybe cya around. Ily.

Last one! I swear!

Hey, if I find out that you're an amazing/brilliant musician and happen to do a cover of Taylor Swift, I HAVE to feature it on this sad little blog which no one reads. If you do read this then pls msg me or comment. Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to no one...again. Sometimes good thing sometimes not =P ANYWAYS:

Oh gosh...

Yeah three in a row now. Going for gold! lol this one has to be the funniest/most beuatiful Beauty and the Beast thingy I've ever heard. Watch his Disney cover series, his Kiss The Rain/ River Flows In You medley cover and pretty much everything else. <3

Yet another youtube post...

Yeah two i a row. RECORD! lol I'm so sad. It's the same guy who sang with another girl in a medley with Can You Feel The Love Tonight and A Whole New World Video which I featured...last month?? Anyways check his channel out. He's awesome. This is also a secret favourite song of mine from HSM xP. Shhh...hahahha


Sammy's friends:

Daily Countdown

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Saturday, 10 October 2009

Secret #26

I've got this stupid dream of being either a songwriter, pilot, fashion designer, professional photographer or zoologist

My hair smells weird

hahah I look like a freak just sniffing my own hair by myself in the corner of my room....xD

I use the Classic Herbal Essences that smells like roses and stuff. Right now It smells like a mix of bubble mix, vanilla and my sisters perfume. Which is nice but weird. Is this what I usually smell like and only noticed it now or has someone been tampering with my shampoo or am I doing too much random stuff lately? wth????

Phone usage

Usage: $115.60
Cap that I am on: $29



Breakfast - Sammy's left over cold noodles and smoked chicken
Lunch - Milk tea with chocolate covered biscuits in the shape of bears
Dinner - Rice and pork
Dessert - Warm milk, the biscuits again except this time with whipped cream and mini chocolates

Physical activity today - Dancing and walking around the house aka minimum...the usual

Daily Countdown

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day number seven
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Cannot put this book down...

Mao's Last Dancer. Finished it in two days (probably less, started it last night and finished this afternoon). Cried.....3-6 times....memory is a little sketchy, I was reading until 2:30 last night. Twas brilliant. Easy to read, it looks thick but it has a reasonable size font. And bonus pictures in the middle that takes up a couple of pages so thats a bonus too. Or just watch the movie....and still read the book after. *nodnod

Friday, 9 October 2009


went to city with grandma and sammy to see the chinese doctor. Then we went market city and ate at Poporo. It was yummy *nodnod. lol. Then we walked around and bought food for home. I ate most of my pocky in the car though =(. then we went back to the doctors to pick up heaps of medicine for grandma. As we were going back to easties, Sammy picked upher friend and then we went to eastgardens. Sammy got her hair layered and me and grandma just went to buy some stuff for the restaurant. Then we drove to pick up Alan's grandma and then droppedher off at the restaurant. Nothing especially exciting....Right now I'm drinking V and getting ready to read Mao's Last Dancer which Auntie Pat just brought over. =D

One Day

I hope to be able to write my own songs and play them with my keyboard like this:

Current Music Moods:

Anything acoustic or piano. Indie, alternative/pop and dance. Or anything sweet and light. Anything familiar or reminds me of a happy memory. And here I am in the darkness, the only light coming from the computer screen and a small lamp beside me, I listen to Mighty To Save by Hillsong through my earphones so I don't wake Michelle up and pretend I'm singing. Then I look though jane.bird's Flickr account. This girl has inspired me so much in more than one way.

Daily Countdown

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day number six
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Thursday, 8 October 2009


I love it. I'm playing the same three songs everyday though....cause I suck at everything else =D. BUT I've done like...a quarter of 9 Crimes by Damien Rice. It's a bit depressing but nice at the same time.

Holiday movie list:

I don't care if I have to go by myself, I will watch all these:
  • 500 Days of Summer
  • Ponyo
  • G-Force
  • Couples Retreat
  • Funny People
  • Up (3-D)
  • Mao's Last Dancer (My great aunt's nephew is the executive producer of this, they went the the premier red carpet night thingy and he said a speech and introduced the guy which this movie is based on who lives in Melbourne now. I find this extremely cool)

Virgo Horoscope - Dolly

24 August - 23 September
Life You prefer to leave the role of class clown to someone else, but this month, you'll be talkative, lively and captivating. This is a great time to write poems, a screenplay or even start a journal or blog.
Love You'll attract an intelligent guy who keeps up with you on a mental level, understands you completely and always makes you laugh. It'll being as a friendship but will turn into something more.
Virgo Guy He'll be funny, expressive and full of surprises.

Spent my morning

Lying in bed, going to the post office, going to the newsagency, watching 'Make It Happen', dancing like an idiot, reading a new magazine I bought and then reading and music.

Daily Countdown

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Wednesday, 7 October 2009

And just like that...

...i felt lonely again. I was left alone again among a crowd of people.

This really got to me...

"i just ate love, it tastes burnt"

Went to Georgie's tday for a bake day. Me, Steph, Migi, Sharon and Georgie made wontons and cheese triangles while listening to my Paramore CDs and the occassional Wii. Twas awesome then we ate and watced Yesman which is funny funny funny. Heart Jim Carey.

Then we went to the park right next to georgie's park and went on her go kart thingy down her hill. I crashed into the fence xD. oh yeah I am so cool.

Then we played soccer which i haven't played in years. At the beginning of the game me, steph and shazz were on one team while georgie, her sister and migi were on the other. Then I was the only person on my team versing migi and georgie and her sister. I got sooooooo tired and I felt SO unfit xD. but yeah it was so fun. I love soccer.

Then we just sat on the grass and sang songs from TV and movies. Then Migi and Shazz had to go so then me and Steph caught the bus.

It was a really good day. We planned to go Wylie's on Wednesday and then city on Saturday.

P.S oh and about the title. Migi made the words Paramore, ily and BNE (Brand New Eyes) out of the left over pastry. Steph accidentally left it in the oven a little too long so it was a little burnt. I ate the L from ily and it was burnt alllllllll the way through.


Out of all the brilliant photo's this girl has taken i think i love this one the most =P

whodunnit? 034/365 by emma hope on flickr

Two words, one name:

Erin McCarley

stumbled upon a quote:

"The world isn't simple.
It's a messy, complicated place
Where there's rarely just one answer to a question.
And always more than one side to a story"

Waiting in general sucks..

..but we all do it anyways for what we we're waiting for.


sometimes hard not to think about it and relate back to it while reading or watching a movie. I then become frustrated at myself for going back there.

Daily Countdown

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day number four
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Tuesday, 6 October 2009


I can already tell that all my holidays are going to consist of keyboard playing, singing, watching things on the laptop and the occassional outing. I don't mind, being a loner is underrated. At least nothing too dangerous can happen while I'm in the confines of my house right Luke?

P.S. Glee is awesome

Monday, 5 October 2009

Monopoly Night

We haven't played in months! But tonight we played monopoly: city. It was a little retarded but I came third =D.

I hate it when my sisters and family accuse me of something. They all aren't even home for more then half the time and when they are home they talk to me for 5% of that time, probably less. Then Sam tells me off for "being on my phone 24/7". This pissed me off for several reasons:
  • She uses her phone ten times more then I do and she has TWO phones
  • I was just checking a text and looked at it twice before she yelled at me
  • She only talks to me when I have to fix the internet, turn the printer on or showing off something new she bought. She has no right to yell at me for something that I didn't do

I also hate when they're hypocritcal. Like when they tell me not to use that voice at someone and then they do the exact same thing ten seconds later.

Then during the times they talk to me it's either a favour or something to put me down. Then when I actually stand up for myself or try to ignore it then I'm "giving them attitude" or "being a smart ass". You'd think after more then 5 years of this I'd be used to it. I'm starting to not give a damn about what they say anymore. Yeah that's right, I'm giving them "attitude". It's called bottling it up inside so that I don't have to pour 5 years of low self esteem and hurt out at you.

Wow, from monopoly night to a teenage angsty rant about how stupid my family can be. Yeah that's great.

Daily Countdown

2 days down, 7 more to go.

Sunday, 4 October 2009


Waiting for the clock to strike twelve so that another day passes and then I can finally unleash my download monster...muahahahha xD

Secret #25

I got to talk to you today and even though it lasted for only a few minutes, I treasured every second of it. I hope you're having fun and keeping safe


On the keyboard I have officially learnt:
  • River Flows In You - Yiruma (Fong's easier/shorter version)
  • Missing You - 1st Lady
  • Wonderments - Bethany Joy Lenz

not much but me happy =D


I'm sitting down in front my my keyboard that you all bought for my birthday and wonder what you all are doing right now.

Friend Appreciation Mood #2

I hope you guys know you're all awesome, no matter what.

Saturday, 3 October 2009

National by chuckp - Flickr

Wait, don't go, take me with you. I miss you.

Now I've got a feeling if I sang this loud enough you would sing it back to me

Where the Lines Overlap - Paramore

Looking Up - Paramore

Things are looking up, oh finally!
I thought I'd never see the day when you smile at me.
We always pull through
oh when we try,
I'm always wrong but you're never right.
You're never right!

Honestly, can you believe we crossed the world while it's asleep?
I'd never trade it in, cuz I've always wanted this!
It's not a dream anymore! Ohhh..
It's not a dream anymore! It’s worth fighting for.

Could have given up so easily
I was a few cheap shots away from the end of me
Taken for granted, almost everything that I would have died for
Just yesterday,
Just yeterday

Honestly, can you believe we crossed the world while it's asleep?
I'd never trade it in, cuz I've always wanted this!
It's not a dream anymore! Ohhh..
It's not a dream anymore! It’s worth fighting for.

God knows the world doesn’t need another band, (whoo-oa, whooo-oa!)
But what a waste it would’ve been! (whoo-oa, whooo-oa!)
I can't believe we almost -- (whoo-oa, whooo-oa!)
We're just getting started (whoo-oa, whooo-oa!)

Honestly, can you believe we crossed the world while it's asleep?
I'd never trade it in, cuz I've always wanted this!
It's not a dream anymore! Ohhh..
It's not a dream anymore! It’s worth fighting for.

I can't believe we almost hung it up (whoo-oa, whooo-oa!)
We're just getting started (whoo-oa, whooo-oa!)
I can't believe we almost hung it up (whoo-oa, whooo-oa!)
We're just getting started
We're just getting started.


in love with every song on Paramore's new album, "Brand New Eyes". Buy it! Download if you like, but having the CD is so much better! <3333

This teenage angst that comes from us and our biggest worries about life...

I really hope it's just a phase

Running from lions

Has anyone noticed how we're cramping, sweating and panting in this race? And yet we don't know what the hell we're all running towards. Do we really want to reach the end? Do we really have to strain outselves to get there? Can't we just slow down a little and let ourselves breathe for a while?

Friday, 2 October 2009

Proud Purchases

Today I went to easties and bought:
  • Ring with engraving as a going away present for Luke
  • Pizza bread from Baker's Delight (my first ever purchase there)
  • Iced Chocolate from Wendy's
  • The heart earrings I always wanted from Tree of Life
  • "All We Know" and "Brand New Eyes" Paramore cds from JB Hi Fi

I'm so happy, I haven't bought anything for myself in so long. The Paramore songs and lyrics are sooooooooo awesome and I wore the earrings after I left Tree of Life. I hope Luke likes his present.

Thursday, 1 October 2009

Promise Me - Bethany Joy Lenz

It hasn’t even been two days
And I already miss you like hell
What am I going to do
If I ever lose you?

The thought of you leaving me
Has got me hyperventilating
I can’t breathe
Cant function
Without you

Promise me
You’ll stay with me
Promise me
You’ll hold me tight
Promise me
You’ll always stay by my side
And never say good bye

Sometimes at night I can’t sleep
You gave me insomnia
The only way I can drift to sleep
Is knowing I might see you in my dreams

Promise me
You’ll stay with me
Promise me
You’ll hold me tight
Promise me
You’ll always stay by my side
And never say good bye

This distance and the time in between
Won’t come between you and me
But sometimes it’s just so hard

Promise me
You’ll stay with me
Promise me
You’ll hold me tight
Promise me
You’ll always stay by my side
And never say good bye
I hate it when I just want to cry it all out but I 'm so upset that not one tear can be shed. Makes me feel like an even bigger failure.

Tuesday, 29 September 2009

Philosphy - Friendship & Love

Do you think it is possible for a friendship love to change into a romantic love?
Do you think the reverse is possible?
Do you think it is possible to have both with the same person at the same time?

lolololol timing is everything. And I had to write Lyrics on my philosophy on love. Here is my final and failed sucks *nodnod:

[Verse 1]
Not knowing what’s going to happen
Not caring, just see what happens
Cause life’s too short to worry
And we’re running out of time

Just keep moving and don’t look back
No regrets
Don’t hold your head too high
Don’t look down on those
Or else you’ll just miss out on
What’s right in front of you

[Verse 2]
Hold my hand tight and don’t let go
I never want to lose you
Won’t go on without you
You’re forever in my heart
Since the day that this whole adventure started

Just keep moving and don’t look back
No regrets
Don’t hold your head too high
Don’t look down on those
Or else you’ll just miss out on
What’s right in front of you

Cause baby it’s a long road
But I’m willing to walk all the way
As long as you’re by my side
Cause as long as you’re here
I’ll never have to fear
As we challenge the clock
We’ll never stop

Just keep moving and don’t look back
No regrets
Don’t hold your head too high
Don’t look down on those
Or else you’ll just miss out on
What’s right in front of you

Just keep moving and don’t look back
No regrets
Don’t hold your head too high
Don’t look down on those
Or else you’ll just miss out on
What’s right in front of you

Ohh yeah, baby remember I love you.

New Moon Extended Trailer

We all say we're over it, but face it, you're going to go freaking mental when New Moon comes out. So why wait to begin caring when you can start now?

Sunday, 27 September 2009

Secret #23

I write songs, sing them, store them away and try to forget I wrote something like that.


Went to see Wicked the musical with Mich. It was amazing. Elphaba's singing was soooo good and the whole plotline was brilliant. I want to go see it again!

Afterwards we bought the program, the cd and then ate at Passionflower. Then when we got to the car Mich lost the car keys. She emptied out her whole bag twice and didn't find it until she was angrily shaking the bag upside down.

...heart x]

A Chat With Mich

C: I was watching Grease and I noticed how everything they're wearing is back in today
M: Like what?
C: Like the leather jackets, the heels, the dresses
M: Yeah, fashion repeats itself
C: Nothing new is ever created anymore...

The Time Travelling Wish

If you had the power to fast forward to see the future or rewind to fix or revisit the past, would you? Right now I wish I could fast forward, even if it was just to see what it would be like tonight, or tomorrow, or in a month or in two years. But I know that even if I did it wouldn't make a difference because there are just things in life we can't change and I've got to learn to accept that.

Random Rant

It isn't fair when you criticize what you don't understand. My teacher calls it prejudice; I call it being an insensitive moron. I'm not saying that I don't do it too sometimes but when you make stupid assumptions and move on to tell the whole world about something you have no clue about, that's when the line is crossed.

Saturday, 26 September 2009

Out Here On My Own - Irene Cara/ Naturi Naughton

Lyrics Irene Cara - Out Here Own My Own lyrics

Song from Fame. Tis purtyy

Baby look at me, tell me what do you see?

I'm gonna live forever
I'm gonna learn how to fly
I feel it coming together
People will see me and cry
I'm gonna make it to heaven
Light up the sky like a flame
I'm gonna live forever
Baby remember my name
I watched the film today, it was pretty good. It wasn't as stereotypical like the other dance/singing/musical movies like Step Up, Stomp the Yard etc. But of course there were some pretty awesome songs and a massive showcase with everyone in the end.

Best Formal Movie Moments - Dolly

Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion
American Pie
She's All That
Never Been Kissed
Pretty In Pink
Napoleon Dynamite
Buffy The Vampire Slayer
10 Things I Hate About You

Friday, 25 September 2009

What are we all waiting for?
I can feel myself becoming a Gleek


Step Up, Walk The Line and Bad Boys II is on tnite. I love home movies nights.

Thursday, 24 September 2009

At times..

..when i don't noe whats going on, i continue to be mad at myself thinking the worst..

I Can Feel A Hot One - Manchester Orchestra

Lyrics | Manchester Orchestra lyrics - I Can Feel A Hot One lyrics

It's such a sad song but it's beautiful, danced to by year 12s at The Show this year. The dance was so nice

Secret #22

If a bus is ever one minute too early or late I have the urge to adjust my phone clock to match the actual time the bus was supposed to come just to make the bus system seem more reliable. OCD perhaps? Who knows....

Tuesday, 22 September 2009

Photo Op

Just wanted to say

Hugs and kudos for google. =P

Secret #21

I accomplished my goal of the day =]

Monday, 21 September 2009

Secret #20

I find it amazing that someone like you actually exists


Saturday Luke planned to take me out somewhere but I had no idea where. So I just got dressed and stuff and I was waiting for him to pick me up from my place.

Mum then calls and tells me to get ice ready and she said she was going to come over and pick it up. SO i got it ready but then she called and asked me to bring it over. I didn't want to cause I though Luke was going to be at my place any minute.

I go over and give her the ice. She then asks me why people outside are asking for me, I'm like...what? So I go outside and I see everyone there. I just say....umm

Everyone's like...OH!...Happy Birthday! I was suppose to come in through the front with Luke but mum didn't know so she called me over.

Anyways everyone planned me a suprise party since like...3 weeks ago. EVERYONE knew. Luke contacted my family and arranged it and then my friends all chipped in and bought me a keyboard!

Everyone thought I had some kind of suspicion but I had generally no idea. There was Migi, Christie, Steph, Maro, Shazz, Laura, Vanessa, Georgie, Mila and Kiera. There was Luke, Gene, Jack, Chris, Lauren, Justin, Gary.
We ate at the restaurant and then went to the same park me and the girls went to for the photoshoot near Stephs place. It was awesome. There was bubbles, tree climbing, racing, 44 home, poker, harrassing little kids for their skateboards and scooters and just lying around on the grass. There was a million photos from Migi and Shazz's SLRs.

I'm glad Luke convinced me to wear a dress or else I would have shown up in jeans and a weird t-shirt.

Anyways I had one of the best days of my life, I want to thanks my gorgeous friends and family. I love you all so much!


Wednesday, 16 September 2009

Unforgettable - Caitlin Stasy & Dean Geyer

You were always there
Why did they take you away?
I was never scared
In your arms I felt invincible
I wanted you to see
The ground beneath my feet
I wish that you would stay
I would tell you
You’re unbelievable

And I just want you to know
You’re who I want to be
And I’ll sing
With everything I have inside of me
You’re always in my heart
There’s no letting go
Oh you gotta known,
You’re unforgettable
You’re unforgettable

I just need to hear you speak,
Hold on to my hand.
There’s nothing in between us,
I know you’re thinking of me.
You’ll be there where I’ll be.

And I just want you to know
You’re who I want to be
And I’ll sing
With everything I have inside of me
You’re always in my heart
There’s no letting go
You gotta know,

I just want you to know
You’re who I want to be
And I’ll sing
With everything I have inside of me
You’re always in my heart
There’s no letting go
You gotta know,
You’re unforgettable,
You’re unforgettable,
You’re unforgettable.

it's funny how i'm always the one trying to comfort you in the end, no matter who's problem it is

Tuesday, 15 September 2009


I've been considering deleting my blog.

Monday, 14 September 2009

Hana Kimi

"I want to make him smile again"

--Ashiya Mizuki

The Climb - Miley Cyrus

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa

Sunday, 13 September 2009


Just a small town girl, Living in a lonely world. She took the midnight train to anywhere.

*two thumbs up*


I'm tired, therefore cbb, hence I'm screwed cause of the science assignment due on Tuesday which I have no idea about.

New Things I Like

John Mayer
Grape Juice
Channel Go
Miss matching clothes

Saturday, 12 September 2009

Secret #19

I love singing the english translation to the japanese theme song in anime

Secret #18

I've convinced myself that you all deserve so much more.

Friday, 11 September 2009

Feast Day

Talent Show
Semi Breakdown
Lord of the Rings

Wednesday, 9 September 2009

Secret #17

Today was the first time in my life I cried happy tears.


Steffilynn replied to my post:

I don’t really have a question, I just wanted to say you’re amazing and inspiring to me and my friends. So in appreciation of your awesomeness…*virtual hug from Australia* =3


Bold is me =P

A Whole New World - Aladdin

Tell me princess, now when did you last let your heart decide? A new fantastic point of view, no one to tell us no, or where to go or say we're only dreaming. Now I'm in a whole new world with you.


I love you all so much! Thank you for the brilliant day and the amazing presents. You're all awesome.

Tuesday, 8 September 2009


I just fell in love....with both of them

Svetlana Chmakova

"How do you decide between the person you need and the person you want?"

-Svetlana Chmakova (creator of Dramacon)

My question is how do you know which person is the one you want and which person is the one you need? Just a random thought I had during the day

MLIA's of the day

Today, as I was driving to work a Beatles song came on the radio. I let a group of 4 guys that were looking at me weird go across the crosswalk. As they were walking across, they all froze just like on the Beatles album cover for Abbey Road. I applauded and gave one of them a high five. MLIA.

Today, I asked my youngest brother what he wanted to be when he grew up. He said he wanted to be a snowman. I support him 100%. MLIA.

Today, I was at a restaurant and the drunken people at the table behind us were taking pictures. I then spent the rest of the night with the bread knife popping into the pictures with a maniac look on my face. I can't wait til those get developed. MLIA

Good Girls Go Bad

Doing dance in PE. So excited! I choreographed most so far and it's looking awesome. Can't wait to see what we all come up with in the end. Doing the dance to Good Girls Go Bad by Cobra Starship ft. Leighton Meester aka Blair from Gossip Girl! She's not that bad...

Monday, 7 September 2009


Yeah the last secret wasn't really a secret, I just got a hair cut at Price Attack in Easties for 23$. Got my hair thinned and a full fringe....might post a picture up later...or not muahhahahaha.

Hah anyways, yeah got it cut on Sunday with Luke and had lunch with his family, nacho so gooooooooood. Get them at Salsa's, it's like....-droooooooool- xD

Trying to plan a party also! Not really a party, just a birthday get together :P.

Random note: I'm in love with Taylor Swift. That is all =D

Secret #16

One of my song posts don't exist..


how we plan something great but things don't entirely go as planned. Sometimes it turns out better; sometimes they turn out alright but what you planned was better; sometimes they turn out crap. If they don't use your idea then don't complain about it and say how yours would have been better, save the idea for another day.

Assignments List:

Visual Arts: Lino print and Wylie's Baths
Commerce: Plan a trip
History: In class exam on WWI
Religion: Literary forms in the Bible
Science: Lights and lasers: Reflection and refraction (Dance parties)
Math: Yearly Exam (pretty much every single thing we've learnt this year)

and thats it for now...

Sunday, 6 September 2009


Awwww I got a shoutout from emjay! Hugs for you on Monday! Scold me if I don't!

Gonna Be Right Here - Bethany Joy Lenz

What’s bothering you
What’s on your mind
If I saw your heart
What would I find
Is it me,was it her
What’s this all about?
Please tell me it’s driving me crazy right now

No more excuses
No more stupid lies
We’ve got to face the truth now
And look it in the eye and realize

That it’s a big world and we’ve got all this time
To make mistakes and fix them
Boy it’ll be just fine
Things might get messy
But I’m gonna be right here
To hold your hand baby

It’s been a rough couple of days
So much has happened
We’re getting tired
Feel’s like everything is falling behind

So no more excuses
No more stupid lies
We’ve got to face the truth now
And look it in the eye and realize

That it’s a big world and we’ve got all this time
To make mistakes and fix them
Boy it’ll be just fine
Things might get messy
But I’m gonna be right here
To hold your hand baby

We’re only human
We’re not perfect
We’ll find our way and that’s why I’m gonna say

No more excuses
No more stupid lies
We’ve got to face the truth now

And look it in the eye and realize
That it’s a big world and we’ve got all this time
To make mistakes and fix them
Boy it’ll be just fine
Things might get messy
But I’m gonna be here

And it’s a big world and we’ve got all this time
And I’m gonna be right here
To hold your hand baby

My Bad

M:Hey are you going to sleep earlier tonight?
M:Good cause I have to study tonight and you're stressing me out
C:I'm not doing anything
M: I know, but you're just...there


Just the first copy of something random that, now that I look at it more, sucks *nod. But it's improvement so that's why I'm posting it up. I think I should get rid of the tag art for when I post up my own drawings, they aren't really "art". They're just my lines of pencil on paper...

Secret #15

I'm not showing them unless they force me or until the middle of the week really randomly. And what am I showing them? That's a secret I'll never tell.

Wow that was Gossip Girly. Well...

xoxoCF ;D

Other Accomplishments:

  • Watch all of CommunityChannel's videos
  • Memorise Thriller dance by myself
  • I am finally going to get that haircut in...half and hour
  • Drawing daily
  • Woke up earlier then 11 today willingly
  • Gave dad a Digital Set Top Box. Safe to say I will watching as much TV as I did in primary school.

Speaking of which, HAPPY FATHERS DAY! To my daddy, I lovvvvvvvvvvveee you. I know I can be a little brat and I know you've done so much for me so thank you and -insert heart x infinty-

Heheh yeah I'm a daddy's girl =P.

P.s. and yes I do know these accomplishments are quite ordinary and sad and you're probably say "These are great accomplishments? Heck I do these everyday, I must be freaking awesome!" Well a) you are and b) shutup xD....ily

Porno Music/Comment Time Love

I feel so accomplished! I just finally finished ALL of CommunityChannel's videos on youtube! She's so hilarious and is officially number 3 on my hero list. Yes there is a hero list. You should subscribe to her for the following reasons:
  1. Aussie
  2. Her topics are totally relatable (yes even if you aren't asian ;D)
  3. How many people can say that they have porno music/comment time daily? Yeah that's right, only she can.
  4. She friends with Kev-freaking-Jumba and numerous other awesome youtubers
  5. She went to Comic-Con for her freaking birthday which only exemplifies her cool/nerdiness to me.
  6. She saw Time Burton and Johnny Depp at Comic-Con and then proceeded to go to the Alice In Wonderland Set Tour, that would be...the ultimate birthday present.
  7. There can be more then one of the in one shot. Yes my lack of seeing ordinary people do special effects in everyday videos is astounding.
  8. She recommends brilliant books and movies
  9. Her your mum and pedofile jokes are smooth and awesome

Just subscribe or watch, you'll know what I mean. *nod nod

Saturday, 5 September 2009

Memoirs of a Geisha

Love the movie, plan on reading the book.

Yeah I know last nights picture was WAY better but that's cause I had a guide to look at. This one is just a reference and my own head thinking. I like this style of drawing, not really anime, not real life but a sorta inbetween and I love the contrasting colours in the other one too. This one isn't as great.

I'll Meet You There - Owl City

If we could sit together a moment
And talk forever just to pass the time
I would smile as the shivers and chills run down my spine
With your eyes are locked on mine

Oh we will fill the metro skies with country air
And when you close your tired eyes I'll meet you there
I'll meet you there

Deep inside of you there’s a ruby glow
And it gets brighter then you and I will ever know
There’s a rushing sound that surrounds us when we walk alone
And it’s everything we've never known

Wander down the street
And I would be the pavement beneath your feet
If we could just be immobile for some time
And finally figure out the way we feel
About the missing puzzle pieces and cloudy question marks
It still looks a bit surreal

Oh I tend to disappear here and there
So concentrate and you’ll feel me everywhere
And well feel the metro skies with country air
If you’re lost when you close your eyes I’ll meet you there

You could be anywhere
I’ll meet you there
You could be anywhere
Open your eyes and see everything you can be
I'll meet you there

I Really Shouldn't:

  • Be watching the Knowing when I should be doing my assignments
  • Think bad things
  • Eat raspberry jam out of the jar
  • Burst out into tears in every movie

I don't want you to go either

The Easy and the Hard Part

It mightn't seem like it, but the easy part is where we choose to go but the hard part is leaving after we find it.

Friday, 4 September 2009


All rights are This is just a quick pen sketch i did of one of her drawings with a bit of coloured pen to make it look like I spent heaps of time on it.

Sleeping Essentials

For some reason the picture is being up loaded sideways =S. Anyways, things I need to go to sleep:

---------------------------------^Pink banana pillow to hug and sleep, phone nearby for emergencys, some reading material (right now I'm rereading the Harry Potter Series), my giant SuperMario Mushroom (great for hugs) and my friendly neighbour Totoro. Also some tunes sometimes from my phone or MP3.

Heheheh, my Totoro and Mushroom are listening to Sweet Dreams by Beyonce.

"but…people dont listen until problems get worse. then they come crying back for helping and i get involved emotionally and im tired. i dont want to help people that wont listen. i do…because i want to see them happy. but im just really tired. and i dont know."


A brilliant photographer and a beautiful person


Is it considered stalking if I refresh your blog page every 10 minutes? I can't help but wonder what's on your mind right now and how much cooler you are then me...

Fong Loves You!

Here's to my friends and for all the times they've been there, even when they didn't realise.


250th post!
I'm blog shouting migimon some easyway *nod nod, hope you enjoy!
OH and HBD Selena!!

Thursday, 3 September 2009

More Than Anyone - Gavin DeGraw

Free for you, whenever you need
We'll be free together, baby
Free together, baby

Silent Disappointment #1

As my birthday comes closer, my dream of being discovered as a sailor senshi fades.

Explaination: In Sailor Moon, when the normal girls found out that they were senshi they were all 14...yeah my vast knowledge of Sailor Moon is quite sad xD

Wednesday, 2 September 2009

Secret #14

I worry ten times more then you think *nod nod


Is it the music or the lyrics that are annoying me? Either way I want it to sound like it did before

To Luke:

You're hugs are awesome =3

Lusious Locks ;)

Hey what is the normal time people take in the showers? And how long are we supposed to spend in there, you know, to save water and stuff? What about when you're washing your hair? What shampoo do you use?

I take around 10 minutes for normal showers and a few extra for washing my hair (it's long now! yay!) I use the original Herbal Essences, sometimes new ones. The bottles are really pretty now! But I'm sticking to classic ones. *nod nod

Lol random...