Posts like these kind of make me hope no one reads my shit still after all these years

• Before I left for Japan (actually after we left Sydney we had a change over in Cairns and this occurred then) I messaged Gino on Facebook. Basically I just wrote about how I liked him and wasn't sure if he liked me back but I'm totally cool if he does or doesn't and I hope we proceed after I get back.
  
  I did this on purpose with the stupid thought that I wouldn't be able to see his reply until I got back because I thought wi-fi wouldn't be very accessible once we got to Japan.
  
  It was. It very much was. He messaged me back on the first night in Osaka.
  
  We are now together but...not TOGETHERRRRRRR if that makes sense? We hang out, little displays of affection, some online talking.

• It's weird because I realised I've never done this properly (I don't think). With Billy it was a simple, "I like you, let's date" and then it happened until it stopped.

• With Matt it was a whole fucking whirlwind of complicated and weird that gradually just went from friends -> friends??? -> definitely more than friends -> not even friends -> cordial friends -> holy shit Matt is getting married at the end of the year. 
• With Gino, it's new and different. Especially because of how long we've known each other and just the situations we are in.

• I really don't mean to compare the guys because each guy and situation is so different and unique. I'm just saying that I have no idea what I'm doing when I'm around him and he makes me feel so certain yet so, very uncertain about a lot of things.

• Gino has a motorcycle! Like holy shit, he rides around in the gear and talks about the torque and his youtube is filled with motorcycle videos. It's stupidly attractive. Especially because of how excited and happy he gets about it.
• Still waiting for the first kiss.