This feeling I've been having will stop soon enough. The feeling I've been having for the past couple of days/weeks. At home. All day.
I wonder when you're gonna figure out that I'm not worth it....worth anything.
I can sleep on it. But I know it'll be there in the morning. Can't pretend it's not there. I'll get over it soon enough. By myself. Even if you read this.
Sorry.
Friday, 8 January 2010
Thursday, 7 January 2010
Selfish
self⋅ish /ˈ Pronunciation [sel-fish]
–adjective
1. devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.
2. characterized by or manifesting concern or care only for oneself: selfish motives.
--Dictionary.com
"Someone who has more than they need"
--Gino Conte
Is thinking selfish things but no acting upon them just as bad as doing selfish things? Is selfish motive equal to selfish thoughts? (To skip all the random ass internet babble talk, please skip to last sentence)
Of course selfish thoughts doesn't harm anyone except for the person thinking them. The it's the fact that the person is having those thoughts and the possibility of acting upon it.
Is it really good to be selfless all the time? Would you rather be selfless all the time or selfish all the time?? I have a friend who doesn't believe that selflessness exists. He thinks that people only act selflessly to gain their own self satisfaction or to receive praise from others and therefore the act of selflessness is actually selfish. Did that make sense?
I think he's wrong though. There a some genuine people out there who just want to help out people. Albeit those people are rare nowadays but yes, they do exist.
He'd refute that people wouldn't want to be selfless and help others if they hated doing good for everyone else, they'd have to enjoy the feeling of helping others and therefore: selfish.
Let's re-evaluate the meaning again.
1. devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.
2. characterized by or manifesting concern or care only for oneself: selfish motives.
I think his definition of being selfless is doing things for other people that you don't like doing. But then again, he believe's selflessness isn't real.
So....the real point of this whole blogpost is to ask myself and everyone else: Am I a selfish person?
–adjective
1. devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.
2. characterized by or manifesting concern or care only for oneself: selfish motives.
--Dictionary.com
"Someone who has more than they need"
--Gino Conte
Is thinking selfish things but no acting upon them just as bad as doing selfish things? Is selfish motive equal to selfish thoughts? (To skip all the random ass internet babble talk, please skip to last sentence)
Of course selfish thoughts doesn't harm anyone except for the person thinking them. The it's the fact that the person is having those thoughts and the possibility of acting upon it.
Is it really good to be selfless all the time? Would you rather be selfless all the time or selfish all the time?? I have a friend who doesn't believe that selflessness exists. He thinks that people only act selflessly to gain their own self satisfaction or to receive praise from others and therefore the act of selflessness is actually selfish. Did that make sense?
I think he's wrong though. There a some genuine people out there who just want to help out people. Albeit those people are rare nowadays but yes, they do exist.
He'd refute that people wouldn't want to be selfless and help others if they hated doing good for everyone else, they'd have to enjoy the feeling of helping others and therefore: selfish.
Let's re-evaluate the meaning again.
1. devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.
2. characterized by or manifesting concern or care only for oneself: selfish motives.
I think his definition of being selfless is doing things for other people that you don't like doing. But then again, he believe's selflessness isn't real.
So....the real point of this whole blogpost is to ask myself and everyone else: Am I a selfish person?
Highlight of the day
A group of hip teens like myself *cough* walking past my house and one of the overly loud guys yells out :
"Hold my drink. Actually, hold my poodle. HOLD MY POODLE"
hahaha ahhh White Chick references are always win.
"Hold my drink. Actually, hold my poodle. HOLD MY POODLE"
hahaha ahhh White Chick references are always win.
Wednesday, 6 January 2010
Stay In Movie
with Mich and Will. Here's how it goes. Will comes over and then they spend a couple of hours trying to decide what to do. They decide on watching a movie and so they go out and buy snacks.
Come home, I steal some food and listen in on what's going on in the movie while doing whatever. Then the movie ends around 1ish.
excitement.
Come home, I steal some food and listen in on what's going on in the movie while doing whatever. Then the movie ends around 1ish.
excitement.
Another productive day
in front of the computer, watching Buffy, binge eating and feeling sorry for myself. Life is good.
Monday, 4 January 2010
Saturday, 2 January 2010
Hide & Seek - Imogen Heap
Where are we?
What the hell is going on?
The dust has only just begun to fall
Crop circles in the carpet
Sinking feeling
Spin me around again and rub my eyes
This can't be happening
When busy streets a mess with people
Would stop to hold their heads heavy
Hide and seek
Trains and sewing machines
All those years
They were here first
Oily marks appear on walls
Where pleasure moments hung before
The takeover, the sweeping insensitivity
Of this still life
Hide and seek
Trains and sewing machines
Blood and tears
They were here first
Mm what'cha say?
Mm, that you only meant well
Well of course you did
Mm what'cha say?
Mm that it's all for the best
Of course it is
Mm what'cha say?
Mm that it's just what we need
You decided this?
Mm what'cha say?
Mm what did you say?
Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth
Mid-sweet-talk newspaper word cutouts (paper word cutouts)
Speak no feeling; no, I don't believe you
You don't care a bit
You don't care a bit
What the hell is going on?
The dust has only just begun to fall
Crop circles in the carpet
Sinking feeling
Spin me around again and rub my eyes
This can't be happening
When busy streets a mess with people
Would stop to hold their heads heavy
Hide and seek
Trains and sewing machines
All those years
They were here first
Oily marks appear on walls
Where pleasure moments hung before
The takeover, the sweeping insensitivity
Of this still life
Hide and seek
Trains and sewing machines
Blood and tears
They were here first
Mm what'cha say?
Mm, that you only meant well
Well of course you did
Mm what'cha say?
Mm that it's all for the best
Of course it is
Mm what'cha say?
Mm that it's just what we need
You decided this?
Mm what'cha say?
Mm what did you say?
Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth
Mid-sweet-talk newspaper word cutouts (paper word cutouts)
Speak no feeling; no, I don't believe you
You don't care a bit
You don't care a bit
Why can't I
see that I'm saying the wrong things?
Why do I only realise while I'm saying it or later on?
I think I'm too scared say anything now.
Why do I only realise while I'm saying it or later on?
I think I'm too scared say anything now.
Friday, 1 January 2010
Didn't know
there was so much blood in the knee. Crap, now the blood on the floor....AND ON MY NEW WHITE HAVIANAS. grawr
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